Sawing Logs

First of all, thanks for the congrats! It’s nice to know I’ve still got a few readers out there!

Now, on to today's post…

I have one super-sexy quality: I snore. Don’t hate, not everyone can be this awesome.
I’ve always been a snorer, my younger sister used to claim I’d kept her up at night in our shared room. Later in life, roommates would pick on my loud Zs. But apparently, according to CPT Fromage, I “never used to snore before we got married” I tell him I just kept a lid on it long enough to snag him, but he’s trapped now, so let the fun resume! The snores are back in full force these days, sometimes so loud and violent (can snores be violent?) that I wake myself up!

In some instances, my snoring can be more embarrassing than others… Like when I let ‘em rip at the couples’ massage CPT Fromage and I treated ourselves to for Valentine’s Day. Look, rub my feet and calves and I’m out. I can’t help it!

Don’t worry too much for CPT Fromage because I am not only a super-sexy-snoring wife, but also a super thoughtful one, so I spend a lot of money on Breathe Right Strips. These things make me even sexier (can it be so?), even though they don’t totally eliminate my sound of sleep. I know that when my gentle snores wake CPT Fromage in the dead of night, he must roll over and gaze lovingly upon his resting wife… My hair a mess, raccoon eyes from unremoved eyeliner and a plastic strip across my nose; I know what he’s thinking: “I’m one lucky guy”. Or maybe he’s contemplating smothering me with a pillow, who knows.

Sometimes my snoring is a good weapon to have in my arsenal. When CPT Fromage and I have a lover’s quarrel near bedtime I have this up my sleeve…

“Yeah, well, I’m going to take off my Breathe Right Strip tonight!”

Although it would probably be more effective if I wasn’t shouting it from downstairs on the couch.

Deployment Sucks

We’re finally more than 2 months in. Is that it? It feels like a lot longer. I’ve decided there must be a slump somewhere around 9 weeks, because I’ve sure hit one. It seems like reality has finally set it (“Wow… It’s Easter and I’m alone” or “Yikes, he spent the day sorting photos of casualties.”) Oddly, I’ve spend more time in tears the last week or so than I did when he left.

But, what do you do? There are two options: Get through it, or die. And I’m still kickin’, albeit just barely some days.

For those of you following: We’re (surprise!) still waiting to hear about LT Fromage’s transfer.

Lessons I’ve Learned About The Army: Don’t ever count on anything. Ever. Not even “official release dates” for information.

On a lighter note, I took and passed my concealed carry class. The instructor, who’s had more than 200 students, told me after my live fire portion, “Well, I won’t say you’re the very best I’ve ever seen… but I’d put you in the top 25.” NBD.

Intruders beware: The husband may be away, but it’s the wife you really need to be worried about.

The Dating Game

I’m an introvert, always have been and prolly always will be. Before LT Fromage came along, I had my own little routine and kept to it, my social life was minimal and I liked it that way. Then, a certain someone stole my heart and my keep-to-myself time stretched to allow a handsome man in. Nowadays, I have my wonderful husband, my close-knit family and a small handful of girlfriends (Even though it took me almost a year from the time we met to start hanging out with my bestie one-on-one!).

Know what’s weird? I thought, being the introvert I am, I thought I’d get along just fine for 12, what some would call lonely, months. Boy, was I wrong. Thank God for my girlfriends, who help keep me busy, and my wonderful mom is always just a phone call away, but it’s just not the same. It’s a strage conundrum, being a lonely introvert. Frankly, I just don’t understand it either, but that’s my story.

As wonderful as my girlfriends are, they do have lives of their own. School. Work. Kids. Hey, they can’t always be there. So what have I done for companionship in the down times? Considered a puppy. Nope. 3 dogs is just too many. Going back to work? Not a chance, I’ve still got a lot of taking-care-of-me to do first. Inviting my childhood imaginary friend, a horse named Acoron, back into the picture? No beuno, he’s much too quiet.

The final decision? "Girl dating". The more the merrier. Friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, nearly random girls with whom I initially have nothing more in common with than a shared taste for margaritas. The pool is big, I just have to jump in there and see who I can find.

It’s been a while since I’ve had to meet people on my own, most of my friends are due to LT Fromage and his married buddies. Oh, how I miss the days of grade school, when you were instantly friends with everyone your age, and there were so many of them. You had everything in common and it was all so… easy. Now I’m having to put myself out there. What if she doesn’t like me because I’m too shy? What if I don’t like her because she’s too pushy? What if we do like each other, can I call her? Will I look clingy? What if she doesn’t call me? Oh, my, how do all of you naturally social people do it!?

So, for lack of anything else to post about (because do you really want to hear that I swept up 2 dust pans of dog fur today? Ew. I didn’t think so), I’ll keep you posted on my “dating” life. Stay tuned!

Awkward….

“Honey, you have that glow, you know, like you should get pregnant.”
“If you get pregnant, we could have our babies at the same time.”
“Married a year already? Married 2 months, pregnant with my daughter.”
“25? You better hurry up! Don’t wait so long like me!”

At least no one has told me I look pregnant.

Here’s the deal, I really do want kids. I just don’t want them right now! I don’t know why all the women at my work are so concerned with me having some Little Fromages! More concerning than them poking their noses into when we’re having kids, is when they start discussing the process of makin’ those babies…

I got cornered in my office recently by a coworker who asked….

“How old are you? 25? Oh, man, believe me, the sex just keeps getting better from here! Wait ‘til you’re like 28… See me then, we’ll talk!”

I hope to God I’m not still working here with you in 3 years, and if I am, I’m not going to chit chatting in the break room with you about hitting the sheets.

I was at a loss for words when a lady who comes in regularly asked about my knee (I’ve got a bum one on the right and keep it taped), I told her it was same old, same old and she leaned in and whispered this…

“Honey, you got a boyfriend or a husband?....You should tell him you can’t be on top! That’s what I would do!”

Uhm…Thanks, for all that, but I’m pretty sure LT Fromage and I have it under control by ourselves, thanks.

Not awkward at all….

Little Old Men

I can’t wait to get old. It’s going to be great sitting in our rocking chairs talking about the good old days, watching our grandkids play… Sure, that’s gonna be fun and all, but the real reason I’m so excited? I can’t wait for LT Fromage to get old.

I love little old men. Every time I see one, with socks pulled up high, shorts and a fanny pack and long hairs growing out of his ears, I just want to grab them and hug! I think they’re darling, those little old guys. I can’t wait to have one of my very own!

And LT Fromage thought he had to watch out for me swooning over movie stars and singers… not unless we’re talking Clooney and McCartney!

Ooops, I Did It Again

First off, SAIMI! Email me at jme_lee85 at yahoo dot com for your prize!

I feel off the face of the earth once more. I know, I said it wouldn’t happen again, but hey, it did.

I’ve been too busy making lists: What do we need to do before he leaves? (Buy a new computer, new camera, stock up on toiletries, replace his broken rosary….)

Lists for what needs to be done today, which are always too long (pull yourself together, do laundry, dishes, shovel the driveway –again-, work on classes, speed-read every deployment book on the shelf… blog….)

Sadly, blogging has fallen closer to the bottom of the to-do list than I thought it would. Sigh. Following blogs has nearly completely fallen off, but I promise, I miss y’all and plan on some serious catching up!

So forgive me for not having material to post recently. First deployment syndrome is setting in and the reality that this time next month, I’ll be seeing LT Fromage off for the long 12 months ahead, counting down the hours until his 2 week leave when he can come home from Afghanistan.

So readers, I promise things will pick back up, just as soon as I get the dogs bathed, the trash taken out, floor mopped and finish that chapter of “I’m Already Home Again”.

MIA

I know, I know, I’ve been in hiding lately. Last week (while LT Fromage was away at training) I got word (over the phone, with bad reception) that his unit is deploying. In a matter of weeks. To Afghanistan.

Since life is so serene and balanced right now (sarcasm) this was just the news I wanted to hear (or barley hear, due to that bad reception. Still oozing sarcasm, by the way).

So I’ve been pulling myself together, making lists (what do we need to do/buy/change/cancel/add before he leaves?) and buying more rodents (It’s a comfort thing for me I guess… We’re at a whopping total of 13 mice/rats now)

In an attempt to maintain some structure and veer back onto the track of normalcy, I’ll be back to writing up a new blog post weekday mornings. Thanks to everyone who hasn’t stopped following me in my absence; without even knowing you’ve contributed to keeping some regularity in a part of my life.

One more thing, don’t forget to enter to win the latest contest! You only have until midnight to follow my new blog, 365 days in pictures, or link to my blog on yours in order to win the Stick It set!

Comments off on this one. I don’t want pity comments, or worse, no comments!

Do remember to comment on the contest post with your method of entry though, and a winner will be announced tomorrow!

Happy New Year!

Is it 2011 already? So many things happened in 2010, here’s a quick recap:

Launched this very blog and found myself 27 followers. Thanks, folks! You really brighten my day with your comments!

Acquired some new furry (and slimy) family members. Toby the cat, Clarence the frog, Mr. Clean the snail and a multitude of rats.

Weaned 2 rat babies, one from 2 weeks old, the other from just 8 days old!

LT Fromage and I celebrated our first anniversary; we went to Kansas City, ate some stale cake and fell even more in love (insert sappy awwww, here).

Hosting our very first Thanksgiving, for both families!, went off without a hitch!

Battled a house full of fleas, which included bathing 2 dogs, 3 cat baths and hours of flea spray and vacuuming. Fromages: 1, Fleas: 0!

Bought my first gun, learned to shoot and even completed a pistol course!

Began medical transcription training and made the Dean’s List (If anyone knows about a job opening for transcribing autopsy reports, hook a sister up, will you!)

Broke my diet soda addiction! (Smokers trying to quit: I feel for you) I’m down from 6 a day, to less than half that number in a week!

Drove back to Colorado to see a Rockies game (oh yeah, and the family, too)

On a solo drive back to CO for my sister’s bridal shower and blew a tire half way home. With both dogs in the car. On a Sunday. Drove a quarter of the way home on the spare tire at 55mph.

Stood as Matron of Honor at my little sissy’s wedding, where I found out my new brother-in-law’s grandma could drop it down lower than any of us young ‘uns!

And so, so much more. I wish I could list it all!

Upcoming in 2011, be sure to check out my new blog (don’t worry, it’s an addition, not a replacement), 365 Days in Pictures – a photographic journey. And, as always, keep checking in here for more Fromageness!

My Favorite Place to Stroke LT Fromage

Whoa, get your mind out of the gutter! *wink wink*

From the first time I saw it, I wanted to touch it, run my fingers through it, stroke it ever so gently. But I was too shy to ask so I just longed for it from afar.

Finally (and I really mean finally, this was well into our marriage!), I sought permission for what I’d dreamed of for so long…

“Hun, could I please touch your arm pit hair?”

He of was confused, of course, as I’m sure many of you are also, but he let me. And oh, it was glorious! Long and silky, I stroked it and stroked it.

Before he deploys, I think I’ll snip a bit off to keep for myself, so with or without him, I can indulge in running my fingers along it’s silky softness.

Now you all know my armpit hair fetish.

And you thought I was weird before....

Christmas Recap in Pictures

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree....

Decorated with home made ornaments inspired by Country Living....

"The Cheese Nun" was opened and made me so glad.... (Thanks, LT Fromage!)

Then I opened this cow purse from "Mom" and from "Dad"

LT Fromage's stocking was overflowing with treats....

Left over turkey bones the ratinos did eat...

The dogs both got rawhides, despite being naughty....

Next year we'll save money and just give the cats all the paper....

Christmas oh-ten, you were such a good one. I hope all my readers had just as much fun!

Multiple Choice

Lack of recent posts has been due to

A) Taking a leave of absence from work to deal with my anxiety disorder

B) Hand feeding an 8 day old baby rat every 3-4 hours day and night

C) Cleaning cat pee off of the love seat

D) Screaming at the dog for unwrapping the gift “she got” for her daddy (That was FROM you, Erika, your name was in the FROM spot, not TO, D@MNITT)

E) Hanging cow Christmas lights in my cow kitchen (An early gift from LT Fromage, since he got to open one early… er, Erika opened it for him)

F) Winning the lottery

G) All of the above

H) All of the above except for F

If you answered H, you’re correct. I’m at home for a few weeks (maybe longer, if I qualify for short term disability). I wish we’d won the lotto, but alas, my recent activity has included no such luck. I’m supposed to be using this time to de-stress, however most of my time has been spent trying to undo the damages caused by our four-legged kids and playing wet-nurse to a little boy we call Florian Geyer who’s little eyes and ears aren’t even open yet. (Ok, the baby isn’t stressful. I actually kind of like all that mothering I get to do for our new little guy).

So, folks, please bear with me. I’m still around and blogging, but if I don’t post quite as often for a short bit, assume it’s because I’m re-stuffing the cats’ stocking (again) or dealing with a couple of dogs who’ve eaten every last shard of glass from a broken cake platter. Cross your fingers that I actually will manage to get some down time so I can drink some Red Thai Chi Tea (say that 5 times fast!) with LT Fromage, open some gifts (if the dogs don’t get to them first) and read a good book or two.

Merry Christmas to you and yours from us and ours in the Fromage household!

What Were We Thinking? Part II

Still not back to work. Eff. Headed to a doctor's appointment this afternoon; thanks for the well-wishes, all.




For now, I offer you: Candid Shots part 2, Our Wedding:


*Clearly, we didn't hire as good a photographer as my sissy did. Crap.

What Were We Thinking?

I thought about calling this post “Finally! A picture taken by a professional and not that crappy phone camera! And, no vermin on her head!” but went with this instead.

Don’t you just love candid shots?

*picture from my sissy’s wedding in August.

**Cut me a break, I’m home from work today feeling no beuno, it’s after 2 and I’m still on the couch.This is all you get. Back tomorrow.

There are Always Consequences

(Photo credits not mine. D@MN I forgot to bring my camera. You get the idea…)

Last night we had to make a quick wal-mart run. Yeah. We shop at wal-mart. Don’t bother trying to tell me why it’s wrong, and I already know it’s kind of white trash, but I’m all about saving a few bucks. So sue me. No, really, don’t. Please. I haven’t saved enough bucks to make it worth your time, I promise!

Anyway.

LT Fromage and I were both in sort of silly moods. This is actually normal for us, so I’m not sure why I feel the need to mention it. The crazies were probably intensified just a little by the beer he had at supper, and the glass (er, 3) of wine I had before we left.

*easily distracted this morning. bear with me*

LT Fromage insisted on pushing the cart. Usually I like to push, but he got it first (wrestled it away from me). Near the end of our list, we passed by the electronics department where LT Fromage began grazing the displays with our cart. Why? “Because I can’t do it in the car! Here there are no consequences!”

He hadn’t even finished his statement when he totally plowed over a printer and ink display!

Which I’m saddened to see doesn’t seem as funny in type as it did when it happened. But trust me, it was uh-mazing!

We laughed like kids while we scrambled to reassemble the stuff we knocked down before this overweight, waaaaay to serious wal-mart employee comes running (well, as fast as he could run. More like a brisk walk) “Is everyone ok?!” LT Fromage assured him we were fine, I was too busy laughing like a hyena to answer. “Are you sure? Do we need to file a report?”

Do tell, what would that report say?

“We were sideswiped by a gray cart, we didn’t get a plate number but it appeared
to be a male driving. They pushed us into this display and then fled the scene.
No medical assistance was necessary at the time. No property damage was
sustained (we put it all back… wrong, I’m sure, but we tried) and the cart seems
to be running fine, despite the accident”

I guess you had to be there.

Ah, I love being married.

Things I Hate: Being Bald

Have I mentioned before how much I hate Mondays?

Know what else I hate? Being bald.

See that? (Look away from the rat for a second, look to the right…) A bald patch. One of many.

I don’t even know where to start here….

First of all, I’m sorry about the quality of the picture. We did finally find the digital camera connector cord thing, but I still took this with my phone. Old habits die hard I guess.

Second, I’m sorry I look like I just woke up. I did. This was taken at about 4:57AM. This is the beautiful swamp monster (er, wife) that LT Fromage gets to wake up to every morning. (No wonder he’s gone so often! Hm…)

Lastly, because I know this is what you’re most confused about, pardon the rat on my head. Ok, it’s just weird, I know. I don’t feel like I could defend myself if I tried. That’s Howie. At any given time I have at least one rodent crawling on some part of my body. (For anyone keeping count, we’re up to 7 now) As I write this post (at work), I have Ruger snuggled in my pocket. Crazy rat lady? Perhaps. If I’m not yet, I’m well on my way to earning that title. Stay tuned.

Anyway, now that we’ve cleared all that up, did you notice it? The bald spot? I have 3 more, but frankly, I think subjecting you to this one picture was enough. You can just take my word on the others.

Why can’t the hair on my legs fall off? Or my upper lip? Or my chin? Or my…. Ehm, lady parts (because God knows, I guess you all know now too, how much waxing there hurts!).

Really? When I lose weight it’s always in my boobs (and I don’t have much to spare there!) and when I lose hair, it’s from my head. So unfair. Why can’t this stuff work in my favor?

Maybe I’ll just start covering my head in rats. Like one of those coonskin hats, you know? I might get some weird looks, but at least they would distract from my balding.

What's Your Favorite Holiday Tradition?

Just a reminder to leave a comment with your favorite holiday tradition to be entered to win the give away!

I’d like to share a little excerpt from The Rebel Housewife Rules (the book that you could win!), something I found especially noteworthy, since this was, as a matter of fact, a discussion (er, argument) that LT Fromage and I had early in our marriage…

From the chapter, “Happily Ever After”

The Myth: Combining two separate lives will be a snap

My new husband will be so thoughtful, so in love with me. He
won’t care when I borrow his things, like his razor. I’m always out of blades,
and I love the foaming bubbles his shaving cream makes – oh those gloriously
smooth legs! Sleeping in his dress shirt feels so good; it will keep me close to
him when he’s out of town. Somehow I never have any socks, but not to worry,
I’ll just wear his.

The Reality: His and mine don’t always make ours

After I used his shaving kit, he emerged from the bathroom looking like
a doctor had just removed shrapnel from his face. I felt bad, but I pretended
not to notice.

“Where’s my new dress shirt? I need it for an interview
tomorrow.”

“Ummm…. Is this the one?” I tried to look especially sexy as I pointed
to what I was wearing to bed.

“Vik, come on! I have no socks, no razors, no shaving cream…. I have to
be manly on a fluffy, pink, flowered couch and now I have nothing to wear to
work!”

I still do use LT Fromage’s razor (with permission. He got a new one), but I did stop borrowing his socks.

Be sure to leave a comment (You have until FRIDAY) with your favorite holiday tradition to be entered to win a copy of The Rebel Housewife Rules: To Heck With Domestic Bliss.

Lady Fromage Give Away!

Drumroll please…

Get ready for....

The very first Lady Fromage give away!

Rebel Housewife Rules: To Heck With Domestic Bliss [Paperback]

by Sherri Caldwell and Vicki Todd

Here's what Amazon.com has to say:

“The Rebel Housewife Rules is a whole new set of rules for today’s housewives. The book contains 38 short chapters—four pages each—because that is about all that a mom can read locked in the bathroom with a three-year-old while the dog vomits outside the door.
Each chapter:

• Exposes a myth about being a housewife: "Compared to an outside career, taking care of a house and family—and myself—will be a breeze."

• Reveals the reality behind the myth: "My husband comes home to a disheveled wife, a disaster of a house, and laundry all over the stairs."

• Lays down a new rule: "Your day will never go as planned."

• And offers a rule Rx, a prescription for real domestic happiness: "Be proud of your most important accomplishments every day."

Following the often hilarious adventures and advice of Rebel Housewives Sherri Caldwell and Vicki Todd, readers learn to be themselves, get what they want, and love in new and deeper ways. Sherri and Vicki share their hard-won wisdom in this "survivors’ guide" to momhood, housecleaning, budgets, self-care, and love after kids and babies. Bottom line? Happiness is more important than passing the white-glove test.

In The Rebel Housewife Rules, the recently engaged, new brides, or long-married wives find the courage to live by the greatest housewife rule of all: "Live, Love, and Laugh, one day at a time, baby."

You can (and should!) check out Sherri's blog here.

This book is freakin’ awesome, ladies (Sorry, any gentleman readers. This may not be up your alley). I’m lovin’ my copy and want to share one with a lucky reader, all you have to do is leave a comment and tell me your favorite Holiday Tradition! (Mine is eating cold pizza on Christmas morning).

A winner will be randomly picked on Friday. Tell your friends, that is, unless you don’t want to lower your odds of winning this great little book!

Livin’ the Dream

Some years ago, I purchased a cow shaped cookie cutter. If you don’t know it by now, I love cows. However, I don’t love cookies as much as I do cows, at least not sugar cookies (the only ones that really hold their shape. I tried making cow chocolate chip cookies…. Fail.) But last night, my dream became reality, we finally made cow cookies (and I didn’t burn the house down in the process!)!

I rolled out the dough, cut lots of little bovines and baked away until their little toes turned golden brown. Once they cooled, we iced. I even bought black decorating icing and those fancy little tips (which didn’t fit, by the way; we ended up squirting icing into sandwich bags and cutting the corner off. Resourcefulness: just one of my many gifts.) I even went so far as to buy little pearl sprinkles for eyes. Hardcore? Maybe; but I’ve been waiting for this day for quite some time.

LT Fromage decorated his cows with red and green spots, since he was in a festive mood (er, I was hogging the black icing).

Santa’s not the only one who likes cookies and milk, so when LT Fromage finished his snack we poured some leftover milk into a cat-sized mug for Toby, who sat on the cow rug and helped finish off dad’s drink. Before we finished up, we carefully made 5 dime-sized cookies for the rats (The Ladies). The dogs didn’t get to partake in the festivities. Sorry, guys.

Giant snowflakes and tiny twinkle lights are hanging and the garland, nativity and stockings will soon emerge too. Best of all? LT Fromage suggested we go pick out our tree… THIS WEEKEND. Shocked? You should be! This comes from the man who grew up in a family who was getting their pine on Christmas-freakin’-eve! I, the polar opposite, erected my fake greenery as early as November 1st when I was a single lady. I thought this gesture was a peace offering since I slept on the couch the night before, but in fact, it’s due to his work schedule; this being the only weekend we can go unless we want to pick up a scraggly tree a few days before the holiday. Whatever the reason, we get the tree this weekend, and I can’t wait!

And finally,

I started Twittering. Yeah, they got me. Be sure to follow me (on the side bar to your right) so you can get updates on my super exciting life every time anything semi-awesome happens. C’mon, you know you want to!

Host First Thanksgiving as LT and Lady Fromage: Check!

(Unattempted as of yet, but they look quite yummy! Check them out here!)

Phew! It’s over.

We actually had a great time, and I have to mention (rub in) again how lucky LT Fromage and I are to have in laws we love, who love each other! The food was great, the company even better, and by a miracle of God (or it might have been my momma) the house was sparkling clean when everyone left!

However, the stress of so much company, more cooking than we normally do in a month, constant entertaining and 3 dead car batteries (each family experienced it at different times, his, mine and ours) spread over the week has us a little on edge now. When I say a little on edge, I mean I slept on the couch last night. (Lesson learned: When LT Fromage is burnt out, he wants to be left alone, which conflicts with my need to draw close again. Ah, the discoveries of a young marriage. See, L, we aren’t perfect all the time!)

With thanksgiving out of the way, it’s time to start prepping for the most spectacular time of the year…. Christmas!

Stay tuned for cookie recipes (It’s true, I’m going to try my hand at baking once more!), darling home décor ideas and wish lists (listen up, Santa! Or blog readers in a giving mood!) In the mean time, be sure to check out Shutterfly, where you can score 50 free personalized Holiday greeting cards, with your photo! They also offer mugs, calendars and more. LT Fromage and I are totally doing it this year. Especially since we get them for free. Free is good. It means saving more money for the mega-electric bill we’ll get in January thanks to all the lights I’ll be attaching to the house.

I Paid for Services from a Woman on Craigslist

This Thanksgiving is gonna be uh-mazing.

3 years ago on this holiday LT Fromage asked my dad if he could marry me (Yeah, he’s totally such a gentleman! I’m a lucky lady, I know). I was uber nervous about that day, not because I knew he was gonna pop the question (to my dad… not me, yet. He waited until Christmas, but I’ll save that story for next month!) but because it was the first time we were introducing our parents to each other.

I had nightmares for months prior (I kid you not) about them hating each other. Most mornings I woke up when they started screaming at one another in the front yard.

That didn’t happen. Phew.

Actually, our folks loved each other!

I think we’re a pretty lucky couple. It’s hard enough to find someone you love enough to marry, a plus if you like their family, and even better if they like yours too. But for your original family and the new addition to get on so well… Well, that pretty much rocks. Jealous much? \

Sadly, our families like each other maybe a little too much.

This year LT Fromage and I are staying in the Little Apple for Turkey Day, so we planned to host one side of the family. Yes, only one side.

When it’s just LT Fromage and I in the house, it seems like a mansion with its 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. If we throw in 4 parents, 4 siblings and a brother-in-law, plus their combined 3 dogs, well, the space would close in quickly. I’m not even sure we’d have enough hot water for everyone to shower on a daily basis. We couldn’t possibly invite them all, and in small print include “Daily shower not guaranteed”. So we didn’t. We picked the side that hadn’t yet been out to visit, and asked them to keep their travel plans quiet, which they did, but then this conversation happened.

Family 1: “So we were thinking, since the kids aren’t coming back for Thanksgiving, we should get together anyway! Would you guys join us?”

Family 2: “Uhm. Thank you so much! That sounds wonderful! I’m actually not sure what we’re doing quite yet… Can I confirm later this week?”

Family 2 to Fromages: “What do we tell them?!?”

What did we do? The only thing we could do, we invited everyone. All 9 of them (minus the dogs, we had to draw the line somewhere).

Of course, being fairly newlywed with no kids, we haven’t accumulated enough place settings, utensils or cookware for this situation. Solution: BYOP – Bring your own place setting. And forget sitting at the table, because it only seats 4. Hello, living room furniture! May you survive this day wearing no cranberry sauce.

This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for my 2 families. 9 people who are stellar enough to come out early to help cook, bringing pots and pans and their own dishes and not their dogs. Above all, to be laid back enough to make this week a whole lot of fun instead of a headache.

(PS: Who wouldn’t stress about cleaning the house with all those people coming? I did myself a favor and hired a housekeeper. Best $67 I’ve ever spent on services provided by a woman I found on craigslist… Wait… That sounded really wrong…)