Monday, December 13, 2010

Things I Hate: Being Bald

Have I mentioned before how much I hate Mondays?

Know what else I hate? Being bald.

See that? (Look away from the rat for a second, look to the right…) A bald patch. One of many.

I don’t even know where to start here….

First of all, I’m sorry about the quality of the picture. We did finally find the digital camera connector cord thing, but I still took this with my phone. Old habits die hard I guess.

Second, I’m sorry I look like I just woke up. I did. This was taken at about 4:57AM. This is the beautiful swamp monster (er, wife) that LT Fromage gets to wake up to every morning. (No wonder he’s gone so often! Hm…)

Lastly, because I know this is what you’re most confused about, pardon the rat on my head. Ok, it’s just weird, I know. I don’t feel like I could defend myself if I tried. That’s Howie. At any given time I have at least one rodent crawling on some part of my body. (For anyone keeping count, we’re up to 7 now) As I write this post (at work), I have Ruger snuggled in my pocket. Crazy rat lady? Perhaps. If I’m not yet, I’m well on my way to earning that title. Stay tuned.

Anyway, now that we’ve cleared all that up, did you notice it? The bald spot? I have 3 more, but frankly, I think subjecting you to this one picture was enough. You can just take my word on the others.

Why can’t the hair on my legs fall off? Or my upper lip? Or my chin? Or my…. Ehm, lady parts (because God knows, I guess you all know now too, how much waxing there hurts!).

Really? When I lose weight it’s always in my boobs (and I don’t have much to spare there!) and when I lose hair, it’s from my head. So unfair. Why can’t this stuff work in my favor?

Maybe I’ll just start covering my head in rats. Like one of those coonskin hats, you know? I might get some weird looks, but at least they would distract from my balding.


  1. I actually love the rat! If The Husband would be cool with it-- we would have one =) They're so cute!

  2. Wifey- I'm pretty sure MY husband would be happy to give you one of ours if you could talk your hubby into it (jk... he likes them too, I think! He doesn't let them crawl on his head, however... maybe I just like them TOO much...)

  3. Maybe you could attach the rat permanently to the bald spot(s). A rat on each spot. I'm just like you when I lose weight and hair. Never from the right places...sheesh! As much as I'm happy for you and the rodents being chums, I don't want within 50 ft. of the hairy little creepers. Sorry! I hate mice/rats/rodents!

  4. I can't get over the rat either! haha I guess if I could carry my dog with me all the time, I probably would. However, she does NOT fit on my head or in my pockets. So, I suppose it's not that different, right?

  5. You could be lacking in the vitamin D department.

    Try taking some on a regular basis, it helps the hair grow!

  6. I'm sorry you're getting bald spots, but I don't think waking up at 4:57am helps matters! Who wakes up at 4:57am? This always intrigues me? I wake at 7:25am and I think that's ungodly...
    As for the hair on your lip and chin, they will never leave. I've tried bribing, sweettalking, and threatening, but mine keep coming back. Although plucking is hugely satisfying!

  7. Saimi, I took a D supplement last night when I got home, thanks for the advice! I'll let you know how it goes! :) *prays for hair... in the right places*

    Sandra, yeah, uhm, sometimes we're up before that. LT Fromage has to be to work wayyyy to early. And the good wifey I am, I get up with him, start his car, make his lunch, etc. Don't worry, after he leaves, I go back to sleep :) Sleeping to 7:25 would feel heavenly! *sigh*


Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this, compulsive, need, to be liked. Like my need to be praised. - Michael Scott, "The Office"

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