All I Want For Christmas….

Looks like denim…. But feels like PJs! They’re Pajama Jeans!

https://www.pajamajeans.com/flare/next

Jeans that are pajamas? H3LL yeah! Sign me up! I like to be comfortable while looking sharp!

Am I ashamed of my desires? Perhaps slightly. But c’mon, it “Feels like sleepwear but looked too good to keep hidden under the covers”!

*Concern is on the rise that I may soon give in and purchase…a….snuggie. Someone stop me, I need an intervention!

What Were We Thinking? Part II

Still not back to work. Eff. Headed to a doctor's appointment this afternoon; thanks for the well-wishes, all.




For now, I offer you: Candid Shots part 2, Our Wedding:


*Clearly, we didn't hire as good a photographer as my sissy did. Crap.

Tips for a Successful Christmas Party: Army Style

Having a blast at my company's Christmas party in the photo booth on Friday night

Looking just as happy in the car after the Army party. Not because we were having fun. Because it was over.

A sign in roster as you enter the party doesn’t set the vibe “this is a fun, relaxed, enjoyable get together to celebrate the holiday”. It wasn’t a guest book. Don’t try to cover it up; we all knew what it was.

Don’t assign your guests blocks of time. Invitation should not read “Your hour is from 2-3pm”. You’ve got a massive house with plenty of room to accommodate everyone, and while we sure as H3LL didn’t want to stay even a whole hour, it would have been nice to not be kicked out when “our time was up”.

Speaking of invitations; e-vites are ok for, umh, like Girls Night Out or Super Bowl Parties, but not for your formal, brigade Christmas party. Tacky cheap A$$.

You may not want kids there, and hey, that’s ok, I wouldn’t either, but wording it this way: “No kids are allowed” is a little harsh. Especially when your freakin’ rugrats/devil spawn are running around screaming the whole time.

Dress blues (The Army version of a Tux)? Get serious. We had to get all dressed up for a stupid house party (where we could only stay 1 hour) in the middle of a Saturday afternoon? I wouldn’t show up in sweats, but formal wear was a little over the top.

Special note to the Commander’s Wife: Look, I’m face blind but even I don’t make my guests wear identification. You’re just lazy, bee-ach. With your scheduling, you shouldn’t have had more than half a dozen wives there at a time anyway. Instructing the men to “find the name tag that properly identifies your spouse” isn’t polite. On the plus side, at least we weren’t referred to as “dependants” for once.

Thank God for the after party. Casual dress, real food, lots of booze, music, beer pong and stick on mustaches. We did still use name tags, but we were more creative with things like “FUCK!NG Reindeer” or “Chief Elf”. No one was required to “properly identify their spouse” and you didn’t have to leave until you wanted to (which for us, was when I started throwing up in the yard).

These tips brought to you by a bitter Army Wife, who declines to properly identify herself at this time.

(Excuse the bitterness, a little bit of Grinch is emerging, but with the obligatory attendance to that so-called party in the past, my mood should lighten in no time!)

Be sure to check in tomorrow for the very first Lady Fromage GIVE AWAY!

Lite-Brite, Lite-Brite, Turn on the magical shining light!

Last week LT Fromage and I took a beginners pistol class. LT Fromage was kind enough to tell me when we arranged it “I’m sure there are things I can learn,” but of course there weren’t. I think he may have actually outshot the instructor, but I had a good time and discovered that I am actually a better one handed shooter than I am when I use both hands. Who knew? Anyway, I got to wear my pink earmuffs, shoot some paper plates and see some cows in the adjacent field and all in all we had a fun day out.

But what does this have to do with a lite-brite? (I know you’re thinking “Where the eff is she going with this story?”)

We had a mega long lunch break, and after we hit up our favorite burger place we still had an hour before class resumed. During that time LT Fromage got a hair cut while I bought yet another pair of sunglasses (our German shepherd keeps eating them) and a cow pen that moos when you push on his head.

So far, there were already multiple high points of this day:

1. Sharing a mid-week day off with LT Fromage. Extra fun because we were shooting

2. The NRA teacher was named Myron Calhoun, which is pretty much a FREAKIN’ AWESOME NAME, right? And he was totally this cute little old man with a big old stocking cap! He even wore a huge name tag, even though we were the only 2 people in his class. Too cute! I have a thing for little old men. We’ll talk about that another time.

3. Lunch at So Long, which included fried pickles and a green chili “burger” with onion rings

4. The above mentioned cow pen. Which totally makes me look like a 6 year old but who gives a D@MN (Using bad words helps me not feel like a kid. Kids can't sware.) Also I got a pink cow eraser. Score!

On our way back to class after the eternal lunch break, we stopped at this funky second hand shop. There it was: The lite-brite. (I told you it was coming)

Pretty much the coolest toy ever. Except maybe Little People. I have a deep rooted love for those, too.

I went a little crazy when I saw it. Ok, more than a little. I may have caused a bit of a scene. But, c’mon, it’s a lite-brite! Who doesn’t remember this from their childhood? I’ll tell you who. LT Fromage.

Boy, he missed out!

I probably should have bought it (It was only ten bucks!) so he could try it out; that is, if I could share it long enough for him to have a turn.

So if you’re in the mood for some lite-brite fun now, because I sure am, I found a website where you can play lite-brite for free. It's not quite the same, but at least it means I won’t be digging those little pegs out of sofa cushions.

If you’ve got an urge for Little People now, well, you’re on your own.

The Answers You’ve Been Waiting For

I’m sure you all spent the last 72 hours wondering “Are kids more frightened of the Easter Bunny than the bear suit?” and “How many trick-or-treaters will she have?” (Yeah, right. I hope you had better things to do than think of me in a bunny suit.)

The wait is over. Here’s what went down.


The bunny suit, which was definitely an Easter bunny, by the way, even without the vest, is much less threatening to kiddos than the brown bear suit that I wore when I worked for the bank. I did still manage to make a few kids cry, but more often than not, they wanted a picture or a hug.


*Besides the warm fuzzy feeling I got in my heart from making all those children smile, there was a very, very warm feeling inside that suit for the 3 freakin’ hours I was trapped inside of it. I’m pretty sure I sweated off like 20 pounds. I rewarded myself with a to-go order of green curry on the way home though, so it was totally worth it.

Due largely to the fact that I purchased a minimal amount of candy, namely kinds that I would like to eat myself, we had a multitude of costumed trick-or-treaters come to our door. Eff. I actually had to resort to handing out left over Twizzlers from last year. I hope those were still ok… It was that or pennies. I know the Twizzlers, even if stale, would taste better than a dirty old coin.

LT Fromage and I did not wear our pirate costumes on Saturday. After spending the prior evening as the White Rabbit, AKA Eater Bunny, I was costumed out. My friend S and I did end up dressing in the same outfit (Dark jeans, black heels, black t-shirt) so we decided we were going as each other. We had a fun time, even though we only stayed out until about quarter after midnight. Look, people. I’m old. I am now in the 25-34 age bracket, I can’t be stayin’ out all night anymore. I should have been at home doing a cross word puzzle or something.

And the ultimate weekend highlight….

Hearing Joey Lawrence on the 90’s Hits Station on XM Radio on Sunday afternoon.

I immediately had to text my sister “oooommmgg! Remember how crazy we used to be about him? What the H3LL were we thinking back then?” But then again, I was tuned into the 90’s hits that afternoon and I actually listened to the whole song, so maybe I haven’t come as far as I thought….

I Used to Dance on the Street Corner...

I’m slightly embarrassed to admit LT Fromage and I may be going out this weekend. Part of me cries “Seriously! We are so too old for this…” but then the other part of me, the decision making part, says “Then what the hell did we buy those pirate costumes for?” We will not be tromping around door-to-door with pillow cases, however. We will be celebrating in the more adult fashion, like, at the bar. And then, on Sunday night we’ll be really adult and hand out candy to the neighbors’ kids. Last year we spend something like $796 dollars on candy (slight exaggeration) and had something like half a dozen costumed kids show up. We ate most of it, but our orange pumpkin bowl is still full of treats, the picked over ones, of course; I think there’s only Twizzlers and Pixy Stix left. I actually quite enjoy the latter, but they are likely not very good 12 months after the purchase date…

This year, I picked up a bag of peanut M&Ms (funny story about those….*), Reeses and Kit Kats. Also some hokey chocolate balls with eye ball wrappers and chocolate coins with pumpkin wrappers. Basically, things that, if not sought after by 9-year-olds, will be enjoyed by LT Fromage and myself. Mostly myself. Especially the Reeses. Which I may or may not have been snacking on….

*When I was a very little Fromage, my grandma gave me my first peanut M&Ms, until that time I’d only ever seen the standard ones. My family thought I must not like the peanuts, since I was sucking all of the chocolate off and leaving the filler in a pile. When questioned, I explained, “I’m saving the seeds so I can plant an M&M tree!” Smart kid, that little Lady Fromage….

To prepare myself for donning a costume this Saturday night, I’ve volunteered to spend this evening dressed as a white rabbit at my company’s Fun House. The theme, I’m told, is Alice in Wonderland. However, the box depicts the rabbit suit in a pastel vest and a few décor items that have passed by so far have been in the same Easter colors. Either someone has their holidays mixed up or we’re going extremely low budget and reusing supplies from this spring. Regardless, I’ll be hiding under a giant furry bunny costume, which thank God, hides my face.

This will not be my first appearance in an animal costume. I have experience as a brown bear, advertizing for Bank of the West. Sometimes I danced on the street corner with a “Free Checking” sign. Less often, but much preferred to dancing on the corner (The ONLY experience I have doing anything from a street corner…), I attended events where the majority of children were terrified instead of entertained. I imagine a 5’6” rodent in a vest will be less threatening than the bear, but I won’t know for a few hours yet. I’ll let you know on Monday