I Used to Dance on the Street Corner...

I’m slightly embarrassed to admit LT Fromage and I may be going out this weekend. Part of me cries “Seriously! We are so too old for this…” but then the other part of me, the decision making part, says “Then what the hell did we buy those pirate costumes for?” We will not be tromping around door-to-door with pillow cases, however. We will be celebrating in the more adult fashion, like, at the bar. And then, on Sunday night we’ll be really adult and hand out candy to the neighbors’ kids. Last year we spend something like $796 dollars on candy (slight exaggeration) and had something like half a dozen costumed kids show up. We ate most of it, but our orange pumpkin bowl is still full of treats, the picked over ones, of course; I think there’s only Twizzlers and Pixy Stix left. I actually quite enjoy the latter, but they are likely not very good 12 months after the purchase date…

This year, I picked up a bag of peanut M&Ms (funny story about those….*), Reeses and Kit Kats. Also some hokey chocolate balls with eye ball wrappers and chocolate coins with pumpkin wrappers. Basically, things that, if not sought after by 9-year-olds, will be enjoyed by LT Fromage and myself. Mostly myself. Especially the Reeses. Which I may or may not have been snacking on….

*When I was a very little Fromage, my grandma gave me my first peanut M&Ms, until that time I’d only ever seen the standard ones. My family thought I must not like the peanuts, since I was sucking all of the chocolate off and leaving the filler in a pile. When questioned, I explained, “I’m saving the seeds so I can plant an M&M tree!” Smart kid, that little Lady Fromage….

To prepare myself for donning a costume this Saturday night, I’ve volunteered to spend this evening dressed as a white rabbit at my company’s Fun House. The theme, I’m told, is Alice in Wonderland. However, the box depicts the rabbit suit in a pastel vest and a few décor items that have passed by so far have been in the same Easter colors. Either someone has their holidays mixed up or we’re going extremely low budget and reusing supplies from this spring. Regardless, I’ll be hiding under a giant furry bunny costume, which thank God, hides my face.

This will not be my first appearance in an animal costume. I have experience as a brown bear, advertizing for Bank of the West. Sometimes I danced on the street corner with a “Free Checking” sign. Less often, but much preferred to dancing on the corner (The ONLY experience I have doing anything from a street corner…), I attended events where the majority of children were terrified instead of entertained. I imagine a 5’6” rodent in a vest will be less threatening than the bear, but I won’t know for a few hours yet. I’ll let you know on Monday

This Is Why I Don’t Like Movies

LT Fromage is a movie buff. Me, not so much. This is why:

:Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon. Both fine actors, but they look like the same person to me, I honestly can’t tell them apart (See this post about being Face Blind). This makes movies like The Departed confusing. We watched this a few weeks ago, and about half way through the movie, LT Fromage hit the pause button and asked if I knew what was going on, which may seem like a rude question but judging by the confused look on my face, it needed to be asked.

“As a matter of fact, I’m pretty confused right now. I thought his arm was broken earlier?”

It was then LT Fromage explained to me that there were two men in the movie. One of whom did in fact have a broken arm, but he was not one in the same with the other actor who was on the screen at the moment. That cleared some things up. At the start of every scene thereafter, LT Fromage would, ever so kindly, announce which character appeared so that I could keep up with the plot.

It’s not just these two who throw me off. I also recently mistook Jane Lynch for Ellen DeGeneres. I was so sure I knew who she was that I ended up losing a bet on that.

(C'mon, folks, I even tried to use pictures where I think they look most alike! Anyone else see this?)

I could go on. I went through high school unable to tell two of my friends apart because they were similarly built girls with long, blonde hair. I have an even harder time with men than women. I was in disbelief when I learned that it was not Tom Hanks in the movie Groundhog Day, but Bill Murray! And neither Tom nor Bill was in Good Morning Vietnam as I suspected, but the film actually starred Robin Williams! (And I only just learned that, thanks to google.com as I searched for images of Bill Murray in Good Morning Vietnam...)

Before moving to The Little Apple, I worked as a banker for some time; I was always so afraid we’d be robbed and I would have to describe the person I saw to the police… I can see it now… “Uhm, well, Officer, I’m sure he looked remarkably like Ben Affleck. Also Tom Hanks. But I could also say he had some qualities that reminded me of Mel Gibson.”

As Seen On TV!

I am such a sucker for advertising. Put an enthusiastic actor on a commercial and I’m in; I’ll buy whatever it is you’re trying to sell. Even as a child I was easily influenced; my mom likes to tell the story of 4 year old Lady Fromage watching her do the dishes and offering this advice: “Mom, you should buy Dawn, because Dawn takes grease out of your way!”

I was obsessed with an expensive knife set for a while in high school. Not because I was an avid cook at the time, but if the occasion ever presented itself and I needed to throw a pineapple and slice it midair, I knew would be able to make that cut because I saw it done by a man who truly seemed to believe those knives were the best thing known to mankind. (Thank God I didn’t have the money to buy those… Though I did, honestly, dream of them for some time…)

Most recently, I’m in awe of a washing machine that is advertized to wash up to 34 towels at a time! How I am getting by with our measly machine? Oh, right, that’s how, because we don’t even OWN 34 towels. But if we did, I could wash them all at once. I’m still trying to reason why I would have 34 dirty bath towels at any given time, but it would be nice to know they could all make it into one load. I suppose I could just buy a Sham Wow! and then I’d only ever need one towel, or so they tell me.

Some things really are as awesome as they seem on TV. Like the Vidalia Chop Wizard (As badly as I wanted those knives, you’d think I actually like chopping but I hate it. I love my Chop Wizard!). I’m also pretty crazy about my new Hoover Floormate, which absolutely does out clean the Swiffer Wet Jet. Sadly, I don’t reserve those “must buy. NOW!” feelings for only the good products, nope, I want them all. The Bacon Wave, which promises easy bacon’ makin’, a must for a vegetarian like myself; or I could order the Listen Up, so I could easily hear the television while my partner sleeps, or I could eavesdrop on others while at the park. Maybe I’ll order that nifty Fish Pen, so I can fish anytime, anywhere! No, I’ve never actually fished before, but if the urge ever overtakes me, I should be ready!

So, folks, if you’re trying to make some extra money, sit me down for 30 seconds or half an hour, get excited about whatever piece of crap it is you’re trying to peddle and I’ll be whipping out the checkbook before you can say “Please allow 6-8 weeks for shipping and handling”! Whatever it is, it can end up in the pile with my microwave rice cooker, Hydroxycut and Bump It!s…. At least I haven’t bought a Snuggie… yet….

Those Rednecks with the Rats...

On Sunday I got to shoot my Ruger for the first time, I loved it! Afterwards, LT Fromage and I finally patronized Starbucks for toffee and pumpkin lattes (our first this year!) before embarking on the Ghost Tour on Fort Riley. Other highlights include Mexican food and margaritas, a doggie play date at the park and a yummy Sunday brunch. I hope everyone had a great weekend as well!

Our rat population doubled this week. Until recently, we had 2 little girls, Holly and Lili Marlene. There was a period of time where we couldn’t bring home a healthy rat, we lost 3 this year, so when Holly was feeling under the weather last week, we were prepping ourselves for introducing yet another new rat. Thankfully, she got better quickly but it got me to thinking that perhaps rather than keep 2 rats, we should have 3, so that in the sad event we have another death, no one would be left all alone (Rats like to stay in colonies, they get mighty lonely without a buddy!). After getting to OK from LT Fromage, I picked up a darling little girl on my way home from work last week and we named her Jenny Wren. Not 48 hours later my boss was attempting to rid herself of her little girl (who happens to be Jenny Wren’s sister). To avoid her fate of dropped off at a pet store for snake food or let out side to brave the elements, LT Fromage and I met my boss in the Burger King parking lot and we took, who we are now calling Keltie, home with us. All 4 ladies are happy, healthy and getting along wonderfully.

Yup. We’re that crazy red neck, gun shooting couple with all the rats. You just wish you were this cool... ;-)

On a slightly less happy note, LT Fromage is no longer commanding his troop. A Captain finally arrived and took his (rightful) place; unfortunately, it meant LT Fromage was booted out and into a desk job. The Change of Command ceremony was yesterday so things were a little somber around here. Every day that passes also leaves us a little less confident that the opportunity for a big change will come through. Please keep fingers crossed, however, since we haven’t given up hope yet!

I feel like I should apologize for the lack of posts lately (But then I think, “Hey, this is my blog, I can do whatever I want, I don’t have to say sorry!” But I’ll say it anyway…). Things, as always, are pretty busy at work and home, not to mention I’ve been spending a ridiculous amount of time at the doctor lately. Not to mention all the time it takes now to care for all those rodents…

TGIF

I’ve been transferring calls and signing for packages for the last week for someone who doesn’t work here anymore. No wonder I always get his voicemail....

Really? Did no one think to mention to the reception desk that he’s gone? I don’t need the details (but I’m always down for a good story of getting canned!), a vague “so-and-so is no longer working for the company” would suffice. ‘Cause I just look like an idiot now. Cool. Thanks.

Oh yeah, and it’s not like this is the first time this has happened here. Eff my job.

That Time I Was Hit By A Linebacker...

At the risk of sounding like a true redneck, I am excited to announce that I bought my first gun last night!

A 9mm Ruger SR9c was the one I picked out, based on my wish list of features (thumb safe, no hammer and an indicator for the chamber to let me know if it’s loaded). I wish I could have the 2 tone, but the black was what I brought home (I was too excited to wait for the other color)

While I’m pretty stoked to have my very own gun now, the first time I went shooting left me with a bruise instead of a smile.

LT Fromage and I had only been dating about a month when he invited me to go to the shooting range with him, his dad and little brother. Down for trying, and wanting to impress my new beau, I went along. Despite it being an outdoor range on a December day in Colorado, I wouldn’t wear a coat*. I later wished I had the padding of some kind of outerwear, because it was cold and we were shooting a rifle.

*I have a problem with coats. I find them terribly uncomfortable, since most of them pinch my inner elbow. I’d rather just be cold. LT Fromage finally found me a coat that doesn’t pinch. We got it when we went for our outdoor engagement pictures. In February. In Kentucky. Now I have a coat.

I learned something important that day: when shooting a rifle, hold the butt as close to your body as you possibly can. It WILL kick back and it WILL hurt.

LT Fromage showed me how to hold and shoot the gun and I followed his instructions word for word the first time I pulled the trigger. I decided my new boyfriend was a fool. Why the H3LL would anyone hold this massive gun so close to their chest when it hurt after shooting? Now, I wouldn’t say anything, because I didn’t want him to feel silly, but the next time I would hold it just a few inches from my, now sore, shoulder area before taking aim.

Anyone who’s shot a rifle should be cringing right now. If you haven’t shot a rifle before, what happened next felt like, what I imagine, being hit by a line backer would feel like. Just a guess.

I didn’t tell LT Fromage. I gritted my teeth and CONTINUED TO SHOOT THE GUN for a few more rounds. For which, I did, as advised, hold the gun as close to my body as I possibly could. Which hurt, because in addition to the kick back, a big purple bruise was forming on my collar bone. And I was cold.

LT Fromage didn’t know about my straying from his direction for some time. It was December, I was wrapped up in sweaters, and we’d only been dating a month so he had no business taking those sweaters off. I finally admitted it, some time later, when he invited me to the range again. We had a good laugh, but took a pistol instead.

Grilling Pizza and Buying Guns

Goals for this week:

Grill a pizza. I stumbled across this technique and can’t wait to try it! I think I’ll top it with alfredo sauce, sautéed spinach and garlic and chicken (Only on LT Fromage’s side!)

Make coca cola ribs in the crock pot. Friday is supposed to be rainy and cool, what a great day to come home to a warm supper that will leave left over’s for the weekend!

Order as many deployment prep books as I can find. Check! Done!

Buy a gun. Headed to the shop/range after work this afternoon to go over my short list one last time before I take one home.

Do the Fort Riley Ghost Tour. Boo!

Watch The Memory Keeper’s Daughter. I got it on Netflix weeks ago and haven’t started it yet, but I loved the book and hope I enjoy the movie, too.

Make some more of the yummy peaches we had for breakfast a few weeks ago (Really easy, half the peaches, drizzle with honey and sprinkle with sugar. Cover in an easy crumb topping made of butter, brown sugar and flour and bake at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes)

Spend some time with my neighbor, and good friend, S, who’s hubby just deployed.

Make an effort to really enjoy every moment this week. The weather is perfect (it’s still fall here, winter is creeping up, though!) and LT Fromage is home. What’s not to enjoy?

Anyone have any goals for this week?

108 cans of green beans

Why is my truck bed full of canned veggies? Preparing for some kind of Y2K? Stocking a bomb shelter? Making enough green bean salad to feed LT Fromage’s whole troop? (Everyone at the grocery store thought we must just love green beans!)

Nope. They’re for the dog.

Our black lab, Buford, is a chunky guy. He came to us that way, and while we’ve helped him drop some of those pounds (He was 97 when we got him last year, he’s down to, last we checked, high 80s) he’s still got something like 15-20 to go. Yikes, that’s a lot for a dog!

(oh, my, Buford! Your head looks so tiny on your giant body!)

My in-laws have a chubby dog too, and last weekend they told LT Fromage what they’re doing to help their pooch shed some pounds. I didn’t believe it at first, but it’s legit. Green beans.
Apparently, you can substitute up to ½ (but we’re only replacing 1/3) of your dog’s food with canned green beans to help with weight loss. The veggies fill their belly up, so no one is hungry, but don’t add calories to the meal. Who knew?

Buford hasn’t been to the vet for an official weigh-in yet, but he looks a little better already.
The weirdest part? He loves green beans. Apparently, most dogs do. He licks his dish clean after every meal, after wolfing it down before the German shepherd, Erika, gets to it. Even the cats try to sneak a bite from his food!

Yup. That was the highlight of my weekend, green beans on sale - half price! LT Fromage was in the field, I was home reading the entire “Surviving Deployment” book I picked up while trying to imagine what a year of weekends alone would be like (keep your fingers crossed – still waiting for word about this big change…!). Oh, yeah, also totally awesome this weekend was the marathon of Sister Wives on TLC. Uhm, yeah, love it!

No Curry in the Camel Bag

Without sharing too much information yet, LT Fromage and I may be in for some more big changes (yes...again). We’ll know something in the next few weeks, so in the mean time, keep your fingers crossed for us, we’re hoping some things work out!

LT Fromage is taking me to look at guns tonight after work. He’s gone already to scope it out and help me with some options. There’s one pink one that made the list, but after some discussion, I came to decide that the thumb safety (which the pink gun was lacking) was more important. LT Fromage didn’t like my idea of using pink nail polish to girly it up… He also said I couldn’t use his extra Camel Bag water thing to fill with green curry so I could drink it whenever I wanted… Come to think of it, he said that trading the truck for a tank wasn’t practical either. Hm. Either he’s a party pooper or he keeps my feet on the ground. Probably the latter :)

Things I’ve Been Doing Instead of Blogging

Visited the national WWI museum in Kansas City, which wasn’t as freakin’ awesome as I expected, but was still pretty alright. Best part was the tower where you could see, like, all of the city (D@MN, I really wish I could upload pictures from the digital camera…). Worst part was the tank selection, they only had one and it was a stupid French tank. I like German tanks best, followed by American. French and Russian don’t do much for me…

Ate at the Brick in Kansas City. My new life goal is to eat at as many places featured on Food Network as I can. Great goal, right? Big dreams. Anyway, we’d originally planned to check out Swagger, since the menu looked good (and the huge beer selection was also a factor…!) and it was on Diners, Drive-In’s and Dives. Friday night we were watching Food Network and Guy was at the Brick in Kansas City! Pretty much a sign from the Food God’s, so we went there instead and it was dee-lish. We had a few beers and some fried mushrooms with horseradish dipping sauce, then selections featured on the show: LT Fromage ordered the meatloaf sandwich and sweet potato fries (I’m pretty sure both of us would kill for sweet potato fries, they are that amazing, folks). I got a brie and granny smith apple sandwich. Sounds like a weird combo, but on rye bread with apple butter… uhm, probably the best thing I’ve eaten in a while (besides my true love, green curry, of course!). I also got the sweet potato fries, of course, with sides of mayo and their special chipotle catsup, which was as yummy as Guy said it would be.

Already finished season 6 of The Office. Some episodes were less than stellar, but near the end they hit their stride again and brought it with some awesome moments. I gotta call Pam out though, she’s sort of turned into a bee-ach this season. What’s up with that?

On Sunday LT Fromage and I went shooting, I decided I need my own gun. A girly gun. Because I don’t know what his is exactly but I have a hard time holding on to it because it’s massive. When I accidently shot straight into the ground about a foot in front of my target I concluded that a smaller, lighter gun that I can hold on to might work out better for me. Also, I want it to be pink. LT Fromage is doing some research because the pink one I picked out is only a .22 and apparently wouldn’t have much more effect on an intruder than a can of pepper spray.

We finally got the computer back and everything on the hard drive was lost. Eff. Mostly it’s pictures we’re bummed about – 3 years worth, including ones from our honey moon. Sigh. LT Fromage got us a service that backs up everything now. We learned that lesson the hard way. On the bright side, for the last year I’ve griped about not being able to upload pictures from the digital camera (we… or maybe I… lost the connector cable thing) but at least we’ve still got the last 12 months of pictures saved on there.

And finally, we’re now entering week 3 of fall here in the Little Apple, which apparently, is about 2.5 weeks longer than the typical fall folks here are used to. We got apple and cherry ciders this weekend and made some more beer cheese soup, in the evenings we take the dogs for a walk and “smell fall” and I look in peoples’ windows (I can’t be the only one who loves looking in windows… from the street I mean. I’m not getting all up in their flower beds or something!). I wish it would stay fall forever, or at least fade into something besides winter because I hate scraping ice off the windshield and single digit temps.

Check Under the Bed

Last night when I turned on the light in our bedroom, I saw one leg peeking out from under the bed. One black shoe, one denim pant leg… They looked like LT Fromage’s clothes, but he was following behind me. This could only mean one of two things: there was a dead man’s body shoved under the bed, or there was a live man’s body under the bed, but either way it couldn’t be good.

What it turned out to be was no body under the bed, just the evidence of a messy LT Fromage who had dropped his clothes on the floor before taking a nap. Phew! We had a good laugh about it and later, I tried to hide and replicate the scene and scare LT Fromage; however he could see that I was up to something, suspected my sneaky plan and wasn’t shocked.

It made us remember another time I thought someone was under the bed.

When LT Fromage was in Georgia for a few months he stayed in barracks type housing, so when I flew out for a visit, we booked a hotel. I don’t remember which one we stayed at, but it was a reputable chain so we were both a little put off when we arrived only to find it was, well, not what we were used to. I seem to remember LT Fromage debating returning to his room to bring back his gun for the weekend…

The first night we were there I woke up in the wee hours of the morning needing a diet soda. As I lied there in the dark debating whether I should get up, get dressed, dig out a dollar in change, venture outside and down the stairs to the soda machine, which happened to have only Coke products (gag!), or try and wait the craving out (Ultimately, I did go get the soda. My will power is not that strong) I listened to LT Fromage breathing. We had been doing the long distance thing for a year by then and it was so nice to wake up and hear him next to me. I started to drift back to sleep thinking of what a wonderful life it was, resting next to the man I loved, my dog sleeping next to the bed… Wait? What?

I didn’t bring the dog. 70 pound Satchel did not fly to Georgia with me. Who else was breathing in that room? Unless someone was under the bed.

I pushed lightly on LT Fromage, “wake up… hey…. Wake up!” When he rolled over, eyes barley open, I whispered (very quietly, I didn’t want to let on to the man-under-the-bed that I knew he was there!) “Will you look under the bed?”

LT Fromage was confused. “Why? What’s under the bed?”

If someone was hiding under that bed, I didn’t want them to know that I knew they were there! We needed the element of surprise so I didn’t mention the suspected man-under-the-bed, “Just look! Please!”

LT Fromage rolled over and peeked under the bed. Nothing. “What was that about?” he asked again.

I breathed a sigh of relief and told him I thought I heard someone breathing under there (it must have been a withdrawal symptom from my lack of carbonated beverages). Assured that we were safe, I was ready to go back to sleep, but LT Fromage sat straight up and asked a fair question:

“Wait a minute! You thought someone was under the bed, and you sent me to look without so much as a warning! I was groggy and had no idea what I was getting into! What good was that going to do us?”

I guess when you look at it that way…

So last night, when I saw the leg, I made sure to announce why I needed LT Fromage to hurry in, “Because I’m pretty sure there’s a dead man under the bed!”

Beer Cheese Soup

As requested....

Beer Cheese Soup
(Makes about 4 servings)

Ingredients:

½ white onion, diced
½ stick butter
2 cloves minced garlic
1 can vegetable (or chicken) broth
1 can cream of celery
1 bottle of beer (ale or stout - I used 90 Shilling)
½ large package of Velveeta (about 10 oz)
16 oz of shredded cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon liquid smoke
1 teaspoon paprika
Fresh ground pepper, to taste

Sautee the diced onions in butter, add the garlic, broth, cream of celery and beer. Cut the Velveeta into chunks and add along with cheddar cheese. Stir until melted then add Worcestershire, liquid smoke, paprika and pepper (all spices are as needed – taste along the way).

Enjoy!!

Live and Let Live

The weekend seemed to get away from us; how is it already Monday again?

The news of Tyler Clementi’s suicide this morning was really saddening. (If you haven’t read about it, he jumped to his death after video of a sexual encounter involving him and another man was said to be circulating). I can imagine the humiliation that would come from finding that your intimate acts were being made public, that would be horrifying enough; but the fact that his choice of partners isn’t yet widely socially accepted, was, I’m sure, too much to handle. What a terrible situation, and a devastating way to handle it.

Although not my personal preference and perhaps not the stance held by my religious or political choices, I don’t have a problem with homosexuality. I believe that man and woman are natural partners, but I also believe that love can happen between any two people, and if it’s not harming anyone else then I don’t see why they should be punished. Maybe it’s not natural, but neither is my hair color. Or Aspartame sweetener (to which I have an addiction!). Birth control isn’t natural, but I make the choices when it comes to when we want to start a family. Why can’t people make choices about who they want to share their lives with? Is it so bad to let a man list his partner as a dependant for health care plans?

It’s such a shame that the preferences of society’s majority weigh so heavily on anyone who doesn’t fit the norm.

Reasons to be Happy

At Work

1. The vending machine is finally fixed, which means 75 cents will once again buy me a bag of F4 (Which happens to be Quaker Snack Mix Baked Cheddar - so so yummy).

2. With Halloween coming up and the good candy on sale, we now have Milk Duds mini boxes in the candy dish. Well, we HAD them in the candy dish. Until I ate them.

3. Someone brought chocolate frosted donuts to work this morning, which, if you ask me, is a fantastic way to start the morning.

4. Someone else brought cider mix for the break room. Uhm, yeah, my co workers are pretty alright.

5. I brought a yummy can of broccoli cheese soup for lunch and the weather is still soooo nice I ate outside in the park again. (Although, it was tricky driving to the park with a hot bowl of soup in my lap…)

At Home

1. LT Fromage finally returns from the range today; I haven’t seen him since Monday!

2. There’s fresh bread in the bread machine, next to a crock pot of stew, waiting on the counter for supper tonight. I’m also totally making beer cheese soup. Yummmm....

3. I had a dream last night that The Office season 6 was finally available on Netflix (why does it take so long for things to be on Netflix?!), so I checked today and IT TOTALLY IS THERE! We’ve got a serious date with Jim, Pam, Michael and Dwight tonight!

4. Saturday morning breakfast of apple stuffed French toast has been on my mind all week… In a few hours, it will be on my plate!

5. The weather is supposed to be perfect this weekend and enjoying some outside time with the dogs at the park may be in our Sunday plans.

Happy Friday!