This Is Why I Don’t Like Movies

LT Fromage is a movie buff. Me, not so much. This is why:

:Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon. Both fine actors, but they look like the same person to me, I honestly can’t tell them apart (See this post about being Face Blind). This makes movies like The Departed confusing. We watched this a few weeks ago, and about half way through the movie, LT Fromage hit the pause button and asked if I knew what was going on, which may seem like a rude question but judging by the confused look on my face, it needed to be asked.

“As a matter of fact, I’m pretty confused right now. I thought his arm was broken earlier?”

It was then LT Fromage explained to me that there were two men in the movie. One of whom did in fact have a broken arm, but he was not one in the same with the other actor who was on the screen at the moment. That cleared some things up. At the start of every scene thereafter, LT Fromage would, ever so kindly, announce which character appeared so that I could keep up with the plot.

It’s not just these two who throw me off. I also recently mistook Jane Lynch for Ellen DeGeneres. I was so sure I knew who she was that I ended up losing a bet on that.

(C'mon, folks, I even tried to use pictures where I think they look most alike! Anyone else see this?)

I could go on. I went through high school unable to tell two of my friends apart because they were similarly built girls with long, blonde hair. I have an even harder time with men than women. I was in disbelief when I learned that it was not Tom Hanks in the movie Groundhog Day, but Bill Murray! And neither Tom nor Bill was in Good Morning Vietnam as I suspected, but the film actually starred Robin Williams! (And I only just learned that, thanks to google.com as I searched for images of Bill Murray in Good Morning Vietnam...)

Before moving to The Little Apple, I worked as a banker for some time; I was always so afraid we’d be robbed and I would have to describe the person I saw to the police… I can see it now… “Uhm, well, Officer, I’m sure he looked remarkably like Ben Affleck. Also Tom Hanks. But I could also say he had some qualities that reminded me of Mel Gibson.”