What it turned out to be was no body under the bed, just the evidence of a messy LT Fromage who had dropped his clothes on the floor before taking a nap. Phew! We had a good laugh about it and later, I tried to hide and replicate the scene and scare LT Fromage; however he could see that I was up to something, suspected my sneaky plan and wasn’t shocked.
It made us remember another time I thought someone was under the bed.
When LT Fromage was in Georgia for a few months he stayed in barracks type housing, so when I flew out for a visit, we booked a hotel. I don’t remember which one we stayed at, but it was a reputable chain so we were both a little put off when we arrived only to find it was, well, not what we were used to. I seem to remember LT Fromage debating returning to his room to bring back his gun for the weekend…
The first night we were there I woke up in the wee hours of the morning needing a diet soda. As I lied there in the dark debating whether I should get up, get dressed, dig out a dollar in change, venture outside and down the stairs to the soda machine, which happened to have only Coke products (gag!), or try and wait the craving out (Ultimately, I did go get the soda. My will power is not that strong) I listened to LT Fromage breathing. We had been doing the long distance thing for a year by then and it was so nice to wake up and hear him next to me. I started to drift back to sleep thinking of what a wonderful life it was, resting next to the man I loved, my dog sleeping next to the bed… Wait? What?
I didn’t bring the dog. 70 pound Satchel did not fly to Georgia with me. Who else was breathing in that room? Unless someone was under the bed.
I pushed lightly on LT Fromage, “wake up… hey…. Wake up!” When he rolled over, eyes barley open, I whispered (very quietly, I didn’t want to let on to the man-under-the-bed that I knew he was there!) “Will you look under the bed?”
LT Fromage was confused. “Why? What’s under the bed?”
If someone was hiding under that bed, I didn’t want them to know that I knew they were there! We needed the element of surprise so I didn’t mention the suspected man-under-the-bed, “Just look! Please!”
LT Fromage rolled over and peeked under the bed. Nothing. “What was that about?” he asked again.
I breathed a sigh of relief and told him I thought I heard someone breathing under there (it must have been a withdrawal symptom from my lack of carbonated beverages). Assured that we were safe, I was ready to go back to sleep, but LT Fromage sat straight up and asked a fair question:
“Wait a minute! You thought someone was under the bed, and you sent me to look without so much as a warning! I was groggy and had no idea what I was getting into! What good was that going to do us?”
I guess when you look at it that way…
So last night, when I saw the leg, I made sure to announce why I needed LT Fromage to hurry in, “Because I’m pretty sure there’s a dead man under the bed!”