Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Green Curry

I am an “Emotional Eater”. At least this is what caloriecount told me, after a very scientifically designed 5 question quiz. There wasn’t a result for “I just simply love food and the activity of eating”, but that’s also accurate.

I decided to read an article about how to control my emotional eating because in order to stay on track with the goals I set for myself I need to weigh about 9 pounds less than I do now, by the end of the month. Doable, but it’s going to be a stretch. I just have to get myself under control and put away the fondue pot. (Since I’m sick I’ve been playing by the rule “I don’t feel good so I can do whatever I want”. Glance at yesterday’s post and you’ll see that “whatever I want” is usually eating)

One of the suggestions offered in this article was to bascially “suffer the consequences”. After eating something you regret, focus on it. Memorize the way you feel (guilt, bloated) so that next time you’re tempted, you will recall that memory and resist!

While the writer is referring to a whole, entire muffin (gasp!), my mind immediately went to Green Curry.

I love Green Curry. If I had kids, I might love Green Curry more than I would love my kids. I fought hubby for YEARS when it came to eating Thai food, I swore I wouldn’t like it and it would make me sick (Chinese food, while every so tasty, makes me want to kill myself later). He finally made me try it, I actually cried before we left for the restaurant. Yes. I was that opposed. But then the first, scrumptious forkful landed on my tongue, and I was hooked.

Sadly, while my taste buds savor every morsel of the meal, my tummy has more delicate preferences when it comes to food. There are consequences much worse than guilt and bloating.

I’ve tried Tums, I tried Pepto, and I even tried chugging half a bottle of Pepto and then jumping around the room in order to “thoroughly coat every part of my tummy”, I even follow my areobics with Tums for good measure. Thus far, nothing has worked.

My favorite plan-in-the-works is to swallow a deflated balloon, so that opening is at the bottom of my throat. Every bite will be trapped inside of the balloon before it has a chance to meet my stomach. Now I’m working on figuring out the logistics,

1. How to safely swallow a balloon and somehow place it just so, in order to trap every delicious bite, and 2. How to tie that sucker off when I’m done eating.

Hubby doesn’t have much confidence in my plan, but has has yet to offer another solution. Readers: any suggestions will be appreciated and attempted.

There are two ways to look at battle when it comes to Curry.

I have absolutely no will power; I just can’t give the stuff up. Even if it does make me sick.

I have absolutely amazing will power! No matter what that Curry tries to do to my insides, I keep eating it! I will fight and conquer!

What did I learn from that article? I learned that, despite the “recalled consequences”, I will continue eating food that makes me feel terrible. But I also learned that I have amazing endurance and creativity, and I should probably channel some of that effort into eating better.

I’m also suddenly really craving Green Curry.

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Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this, compulsive, need, to be liked. Like my need to be praised. - Michael Scott, "The Office"

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