My New Bestie

A little update from yesterday: I went to the corporate HR gal with my dilemma and a half hour later sat in my boss’ office, this time joined by our office HR rep, where I got an apology, assurance that I will not lose my job and some assistance with my options (FMLA, etc.). Phew.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about some lighter stuff, shall we?

I’m a huge fan of MTV and reality shows. I think it’s because, as such an introvert. I can enjoy the “company” of the people I can “get to know” at my leisure (assuming they are on. If I had DVR this could even be better…). When I get tired of them, I can turn them off. I can say things to them that my “real” friends may not appreciate, things like “bee-ach, you look like a blimp in that! Size 4 my @$$, go back to the rack for an 8, at least!”

Come to think of it, comments like that may be why I have very few “real life” friends. Food for thought...

16 and Pregnant was my favorite show, and of course, I followed the girls through Teen Mom. I was devastated when the finale came a few weeks ago, and the promise of a new season of 16 and Pregnant didn’t fix it. I wasn’t looking forward to “getting to know” any more new girls, I liked my old friends.

Until the other night when Brooke was introduced. Girl, you are my new “best friend”.

Brooke is a junior in high school who lives in Texas with her family and a herd of goats. She’s also a race car driver (as is her family and her HUSBAND… yes, husband! She’s 16, pregnant and married!). She and HUSBAND, Cody, are planning to buy a prefabricated barn to drop on her parents’ property. To live in. I’ve never heard of living in a prefab barn, but eff yeah, this is gonna be freakin’ awesome!

Other highlights of the introduction episode included Mom’s shock at how her baby girl got knocked up. She reminded her where the condoms are kept (under the bathroom sink), and apparently instructed her on proper usage with the aid of a cucumber. Perhaps not parenting the way I plan to do it, but I sure do love gasping and grabbing LT Fromage, “Can you believe this $H!T???”

Now, it would be easy to judge my new “friend”, since she probably does fall into a category of “white trash”, but I’m not going to. Why? Because she’s a cow lover too. Every scene showed a new item of cowness. Which led me to grab LT Fromage and shriek “AAAAHHHH!!! COOOOOWWWW” every few minutes (I don’t think he likes my new friend so far, since she and I are keeping him from getting much work done).

Ok, MTV. You got me. I’ll put forth the effort to get to know these new high school moms. None of whom can understand how they could possibly have become pregnant (“We were like, totally having unprotected sex for like, ever, and never got pregnant before! WTF?”).

These young women will become a part of my life. I will resume talking to LT Fromage about people he thinks we actually know, ensuring many more confusing conversations like this:

“So Brooke and Cody are totally buying a barn to live in! A BARN! Can you believe it, baby?”

“Wait, who?”

“Booke and Cody! With baby Brody… remember?”

“Is this someone you work with? I thought her name was Amber?”

“No, silly, BROOKE! The Teen Mom!”

“Oh, Jesus…”