Friday, May 7, 2010

I’ll say it again. I think I’m a superhero.

I’ll say it again. I think I’m a superhero.

I had to fast yesterday for another blood test, since as you’ll recall, they were unable to collect any of my precious blood last time they tried.

I don’t know why they scheduled this test for SIX-FREAKING-THIRTY IN THE EVENING. I was starving all day. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a good person when I’m hungry. So really, any day is a bad day to fast, but yesterday was especially sucky because there free ice cream at work. 3 gallons of chocolate deliciousness and I couldn’t partake. I almost caved in. Almost.

They said the problem with my inability to bleed last time was because I was dehydrated, but truth be told: it’s probably because I am a superhero.

I drank 50oz water the night before my test, and over the course of the day yesterday, drank a little more than 64 oz. Since my last test 3 weeks ago, I’ve been drinking at least 32oz of water every day and have cut back to (gasp) 1 or 2 sodas per day. I’m clearly hydrated.

There’s only one explanation: Lady Fromage is a superhero. She doesn’t bleed. (Except when I get nervous, I get nosebleeds when I’m nervous. Like the 2 I had on my wedding day. And a few other inconvenient times, but I’m not going to go there. You can use your imagination. )

Oh yeah, I should mention that the other possible thing, I might just have “special, tiny veins” like the healthcare worker said.

No. No, I still think I’m a superhero.

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Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this, compulsive, need, to be liked. Like my need to be praised. - Michael Scott, "The Office"

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