Dear Fellow Drivers,
F you all. Use your blinkers, for God’s sake! Go the speed limit and pick one lane, you can’t just drive down the middle. I’m glad you seem to be out for a leisurely road trip, but some of us have places to be and you’re making us late. Go to H3LL (Except little old men. They are exempt)
Lots of love,
Dear People of Walmart,
True, Walmart is not the classiest place eva, but put on some real clothes and get off your phone. I don’t need to see your crack and hear all about your hookup while I’m buying eggs, kay? Also, this is not a playground, keep your freakin’ spawn under control.
To The Popular Kids in High School,
Ha! Maybe you were a big fish in a little pond then, but now you’re married to a guy named after an ice cream, had your wedding in horse SH!T and got fat. Me? I’m doing great and happy in my 4 bedroom house with my successful husband. Who’s the cool kid now, bee-aches?
Lots of love!