Friday, April 23, 2010

A Day in the Life of Lady Fromage

5AM: Alarm goes off. Dreaming that hubby is a professor traveling to grade schools to talk about astronomy and marine life. He’s running late for a presentation for a 1st grade class to discuss sharks. Hit snooze. I accidently kick our new kitten, Toby, who is at my feet underneath the covers.

So tired. Hubby and I were up late… Use your imagination. Made my way downstairs, greeted by the dogs, who believe it is absolutely time to get up when mom comes into the kitchen, whether it’s at 1:00am, or 5:00am, they go nuts.

Notice Allison, our black rat, has escaped the cage again. We recently obtained for them what was supposed to be a small ferret cage, but it is actually almost as large as our dog kennel -appropriate for dogs up to 100lbs… Allison is ready to go “home” and see her sister, Holly.

Return Allison to her cage.

After wrangling the animals, in the short amount of time while hubby is shaving and dressing, I make 2 lunches - 2 sandwiches, 2 bags of chips, 2 desserts, 2 snacks. Breakfast, 2 granola bars. Spill a whole tray of ice cubes on the floor. Can’t find his Nalgene bottle, it’s in the car… I go out to the driveway in nothing but a short, spaghetti strap nightgown. Since it’s 5AM, I don’t worry about being seen. Oops. Our neighbor is in the Army too, he leaves at the same time as hubby. “Hi, good morning,”

Hubby gets out the door on time. I scoop the dogs’ food and bring them inside, head upstairs to cuddle our older cat, Gary, for 10 or 15 minutes before my day starts. (Making extra sure Gare doesn’t feel ignored, with our new addition around)

Quick shower, rushing because I forgot that today is Erika’s day care day. Normally she goes on Wednesday, but I had a meeting after work yesterday and wouldn’t have been able to pick her up before they closed… Moved her reservation to today and totally forgot. $hit.

Nothing to wear since I forgot to run laundry last night. Throw on my go-to favorite black and teal dress. Can’t find a cardigan, problem because the dress is a halter top - which is totally not work appropriate. Finally dressed.

7AM: Still rushing, grab plastic grocery bag containing my lunch and Erika’s left over breakfast for her lunch. Open the front door, it’s pouring rain. Erika runs a few laps around the truck before hopping in, leaving muddy prints on the driver’s seat. Thanks, E.

Erika doesn’t want to go to day care. She cries and almost slips out of her collar as I’m leaving.

Hear “You Don’t Have To Call Me Darlin’” on the way to work, makes me smile. We saw David Allan Coe a few months back. I love old country music.

8AM: Make it to work with only a few minutes to spare. Driving in was a nightmare. “Slight chance of showers, less than 20%” should have been “Monsoon. Best mode of transportation: Rowboat”

Try to order appliances for construction department. Website wasn’t working yesterday, down today, too. Spend 40 minutes, most of which I am on hold for, trying to arrange an order for 5 new homes.

9AM: The “slight shower” today has interfered with my company’s ribbon cutting ceremony for the community garden, changing location, going indoors. Spend the next hour in the pouring rain, moving garden things, including a tree, to the gym. Freezing because I’m in a sun dress. Bad wardrobe choice. Hair has become soggy, look like a wet dog.

10AM: Head back to my office to look for a comb, clip, tie, anything to attempt to fix my hair. Hair becomes dry, weird not-wavy-not-straight frizzy mess. Make up running everywhere. Text my friend, Sara, and listen to Garth Brooks “In Pieces” CD a few times while I compose an email to Whirlpool, detailing all of the appliances I need. This is all done in numerical code, of course, because it would be way too easy to ask for “Electric Range”, when I could find the item number in a document as large as a phone book. Sure, that’s way more fun.

11:30AM: Lunch time. Reach for my bag and find... Surprise! not my lunch, but a half jar of peanut butter, empty squeeze bottle of jelly and bag of mini-candy bars that has split open and spilled everywhere.

11:31AM: Go back out into rain, drive to commissary to purchase something from the food court. Remember that hubby was meeting friends for lunch today. Occurs to me that the 2 lunches I carefully, lovingly, prepared were a waste of time.

11:45AM: Return to office with a greasy, over priced sandwich only to find left overs from the ribbon cutting ceremony. In the break room there is fresh fruit, bagels and muffins from Panera and other goodies. 2 home made lunches and $7.50 wasted today. Enjoy part of my to-go lunch and a bowl of fruit with Splenda.

12:30PM: Lobby is like a rainforest. Painters are here, so all doors and windows are open to release fumes. We can hear the rain pouring just outside the door, and the songs of the barn swallows who have nested in the overhang above the front door.

1:40PM: Coworker chooses to mount maps on corkboard using spray adhesive in the lobby. Paint fumes and spray adhesive. Awesome. Also, one of those sweet Jimmy Dean commercials is on, where everyone is dressed up like planets and stuff…. I love those.

2:30PM: Still can’t get doggy day care’s webcam to load. Hope Erika isn’t having TOO horrible of a time there today. Also hope I remember to pick her up after work… Also, I need a nap. Having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Yesterday was crazy busy, and today, there’s very little going on. Browsing craigslist .

3:40PM: Got the $HIT scared out of me. Get a text from a number I don’t recognize, no message, just a picture of my old house. Can’t reverse look up the number, it’s a cell phone. Freaking out. Calling hubby, calling mommy. Turns out it was my brother-in-law, who assumed I had him in my phonebook. He was in my old ‘hood, wanted to show my how my little house was doing… F you, D. You freaked me out. Send a message with it next time you do something like that, dude...

4:49PM: Headed home. Finally.

5:40PM: Arrive home to find that Garrett has peed on my sweatshirt and shorts. Thanks, G-money. Change into sweatpants, go downstairs and find a puddle of dog pee. Thanks, Buford. Mop. Remember to run the washer so we will have clean clothes for our trip this weekend. Out of laundry detergent. Start getting grumpy.

6:30PM: Dog sitter comes over to get instructions for the weekend. She recently graduated (Congrats!), but will now be working and can’t take care of our dogs during the week as she has been (Our dogs have a nanny who comes to play with them at lunch time during the week because we’re cool dog-parents).

Note to self: Need to start looking for new dog sitter for weekdays.

While showing dog sitter where everyone’s things are for the weekend, realize we are out of cat food.

7:00PM: Frozen pizza for dinner, watch an episode of the Office.

7:45PM: Trip to Wal-Mart for cat food. Also buy bobby pins and a few other things for this weekend’s wedding. Forget the cheese and pepperoni stick hubby asked for. Feel like a terrible wife. Sigh.

8:30PM: Return home and feed cats. Begin packing for weekend. Tried and grumpy, plans for bedtime activities out the window, just want to go to sleep. Carpooling with hubby in the morning, means alarm will go off at 4:25.

9:30PM: Bedtime. Fall asleep before the lights go out. Goodnight, moon…

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