Dang, I’m no good at this blogging thing as of late! Anyone still out there reading? Hello…?
Not that I owe anyone an excuse, but here it is anyway. Basically just been trying to get my life back on track for the last 3 weeks or so. I haven’t posted about it before, because it’s rather embarrassing, but I have pretty severe anxiety. Like, enough so that it’s the reason I left my job. For the last 9 months or so I’ve been more actively battling with it, seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist and taking every medication available. Long story short, nothing’s really worked and thanks to all those meds with weight gain side effects, I found myself no better off and 50 pounds heavier than when I started all this. Soooo… yeah…. Every post I drafted over the last month was basically “I hate my body, it’s covered with stretch marks and I’m so anxious I won’t leave the house unless there’s alcohol involved” So, I just didn’t post at all. There you go.
But here I am again, posting, so you know my story turns around….
LT Fromage sorta pulled me out of the hole I was in, did some research, ordered me a great book and I went to see a Cognitive Behaviorial Therapist. My old therapist’s approach was to find something to blame my anxiety on, not to fix it, whereas the CBT approach isn’t “talk therapy” it’s focused on learning to cope and change your way of thinking. I’m not crazy about the therapist, but the book has enough info and exeresis that I’m confident I can take this on without her help (Triumph Over Shyness, The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook and When Panic Attacks, in case anyone is wondering). I’m also getting off of all of the meds. I have about a week left in the “tapering off” stage, which makes me super happy. I didn’t want to take the drug route in the first place, so the dozen + pills I’ve been on made me kinda upset. I’m also PI$$ED about the 50 pounds! (Not that I have a problem with people taking meds for any reason, I just didn’t want them)
So yeah… Everything isn’t all better, but I feel like I’m on the upswing anyway. And, inspired by Busy Bee Lauren, I’ve started a raw food diet, which I’ll talk about some other time. Just hop on over to her blog if you’re wondering what that is. It’s supposed to A) Help your anxiety/depression and B) Help you lose weight… If it only brought husbands home from war, it would fix all of my problems! (I’ll save that for another day, too)
Dang. Long post, sorry. Just making up for the last month! :)