Happy Birthday, LT Fromage!

Well, we’re still waiting for that email. Word on the street is we’ll hear something next week. Maybe this is just God’s way of teaching me patience. If it is: I’m failing.

In news that is official and exciting, and most importantly, on time: It’s LT Fromage’s birthday! He’s finally joined me in the 25-34 age bracket and can no longer refer to me as “old” (For a few more weeks anyway). Happy birthday, baby!

And because I have nothing else to say, and it’s Friday and time to party, I’ll just go ahead and end this post with a youtube video. This is my kick-@$$ brother rockin’ the dance floor at my sister’s wedding. Go ahead, watch it, you’ll love it!

Patience... And also brownies.

Mmmkay. So if you read my post about LT Fromage’s request for a job transfer, you know that we’ve been waiting for a simple email. “Congratulations, you’ve been accepted” or “We regret to inform you”

(Remember, this is so much more than just a job transfer. This is like, HUGE. That’s what she said!)

The thing is we originally should have known one way or the other about a month ago. Then, we had an official notification date of April 24^th, which then became the 26^th. Today is now the 28^th and we still haven’t heard a peep.

The thing is I wouldn’t be so upset except for the fact that SOMEONE ACTUALLY KNOWS THE DECESION AND JUST HASN’T PUBLISHED IT YET.

Did you notice I was screaming there? Forgive me, but I haven’t slept in 4 nights now because I’m lying right by my laptop and getting up EVERY FREAKIN’ TIME I GET A MESSAGE hoping it’s the one with the decision.

So far, no emails from the Army but I have gotten a lot of messages about “Hot Asian Singles” in my area. Unless they know whether or not my husband has word on a potentially life changing decision, I’m not interested.

I took a home pregnancy test once and it was like, the longest 3 minutes (or whatever it was) of my life. That is, until now. It’s kind of like I peed on the stick in October and I’m still waiting for the results.

Oh yeah, and I really want a brownie.

So I’ll just be waiting here, tired, and with no dessert.

If you haven’t noticed: Patience is not a virtue I possess. But I do have a mega sweet tooth.

The Ultimate Trifecta

Well yesterday, I finally did it! Indian food for lunch (albeit from the frozen food aisle), green curry and a Diet Pepsi (Not even the generic brand!) for supper and Orange Leaf froyo for dessert! Then, I got to sit back and watch Big Love and bask in the awesomeness.

That is all.

Deployment Sucks

We’re finally more than 2 months in. Is that it? It feels like a lot longer. I’ve decided there must be a slump somewhere around 9 weeks, because I’ve sure hit one. It seems like reality has finally set it (“Wow… It’s Easter and I’m alone” or “Yikes, he spent the day sorting photos of casualties.”) Oddly, I’ve spend more time in tears the last week or so than I did when he left.

But, what do you do? There are two options: Get through it, or die. And I’m still kickin’, albeit just barely some days.

For those of you following: We’re (surprise!) still waiting to hear about LT Fromage’s transfer.

Lessons I’ve Learned About The Army: Don’t ever count on anything. Ever. Not even “official release dates” for information.

On a lighter note, I took and passed my concealed carry class. The instructor, who’s had more than 200 students, told me after my live fire portion, “Well, I won’t say you’re the very best I’ve ever seen… but I’d put you in the top 25.” NBD.

Intruders beware: The husband may be away, but it’s the wife you really need to be worried about.

Nap Time

Still no word from the Army about the transfer. (see my last post) Should have guessed it wouldn't be on time anyway!

A lot of my friends have kids, which is cool. I like kids, I think they have such cute little clothes, I love their little smiles and sounds and it’s fun watching them grow up and learn new things (Like little baby “Riley” who can now sit up! Too freakin’ cute!). But, as you should know by now, this is not a mommy-blog, due primarily to the fact that I am not a mommy, so I would have even less to write about than I do now.

Things I’ve learned about babies:
-Some of them like to eat paper (not naming any names here, but… cough cough, Riley.)
-Weight gain and loss is a big deal and needs to be monitored. Like, a bigger deal than it is for dieting women. While I’d love to lose weight, it’s not cool when kiddos do it.
-Whichever child I’m with at the time is decidedly the “best age”. In truth: Babies are just freakin’ cute at every age.
-Babies have nap schedules.

I don’t have to (get to) buy cute baby outfits. I’m not worried about which formula has the most calories and I’m still not sure at what age those cuties start teething or talking, but the nap thing, that I can understand. I too, am on a nap schedule.

Yes. This is the most interesting thing I have to blog about today. Stop here if you’d like.

My doctor prescribed yet another new Rx (This makes about 2 dozen in the last 6 months) which is not intended to treat an inability to sleep, but apparently, this is a side effect (along with weight gain, which I’ve also experienced. Hip-hip-freakin’-hooray). I wish I could say how long I’ve been on this particular prescription, but frankly, my days are all blurred together because I’m sleeping for most of them. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s been about 10 days.

Until the “sleepy” side effect wears off (ok, and we’re not talking yawning here, this is like, falling over sleeping ), I am a childless adult who cannot leave the house between 11 and 1, and then again from 3-7 due to nap times. Then I get to take an Ambien to sleep at night because after all those naps, who needs to sleep at night?

Yup. Totally just blogged about my sleep schedule…

Real World: Fort Riley

Pretend with me for a moment that LT Fromage worked in the “real world”. My post would go something like this:

The hubster has applied for a job transfer. It would entail staying
within the same company, but doing something else for them. He put in his
application and the board of executives has met. Now we’re waiting to see if
he’s been hired.

Well, that was fun. Back to what’s actually OUR “real world”, Military Style.

Some months ago, LT Fromage filled out enough paperwork to purchase a small country ago and since submitting it, the military has contacted and interviewed all of our friends, family and neighbors and verified every detail of my husband’s 25 years walking the earth (“Ehem, Sir, we need someone who can verify that you lived in A HOTEL FOR TRAINING FOR 4 WEEKS THREE YEARS AGO. “ True story.)

Since submitting his packet, he’s had to send in multiple amendments, have a photo taken twice and provide glowing letters of recommendation. The board, who was supposed to meet in January, has finally met and will (fingers crossed here) announce their decision in 48 hours.

While it doesn’t sound like a big deal, we’ve got kind of a lot riding on the news we’ll get the day after tomorrow. When it boils down to it, it may dictate whether LT Fromage makes a career out of the Army. Yep, we’re on pins and needles here in the Fromage house (and the Fromage tent, there in the ‘stan). Keep your fingers crossed for us if you will!

Oh yeah, you want to know something else cool about the real world that we don’t get to enjoy in Military Land? In the real world, if you work, you get paid. In the Army, not so much sometimes. (Can I tell you how relieved I am the government balanced it’s checkbook by payday? 'Cause you send my hubster to a war zone, you effin' better pay him for it!)

You And Me Baby Ain’t Nothing But Mammals

(not my photo... it is likley that there was in fact, a bridal keg stand earlier in the evening)

A few things:

1. I’ve been stood up for girl-dates twice in one week. Which basically sucks.

2. I’ve also been asked to dance twice, at the only 2 bars I’ve been to. Which hasn’t happened, erm, ever. (Flattering though!)

3. Where I’m going with this post: I am too old for house parties.

I suppose I’d never actually been to a “house party”. I guess when I thought of the term, it brought to mind situations where very few in the group were actually old enough to buy alcohol, thus bought lots of cheap canned beer and invited all of their under-age friends over to listen to music and drink crappy booze.

Last weekend, after I got stood up... the second time... (Please note: I waited 2 freakin’ hours for this girl, who then cast me as the bee-ach when I asked if she wanted to hang out or just cancel. Real cool, but whateves) Vagina Girl invited me out to a house party to cheer me up.

Things wrong with this scenario:

1. My friend is blog-named Vagina Girl. And she earned this tittle.

2. Vagina Girl and I have both been able to purchase alcohol for some time, thus should never have to find ourselves in a situation where there is canned beer and mixed drinks in slurpee cups.

3. Vagina Girl and I both wore hooded sweaters…. (erm… “hoodies”. Sorry. LT Fromage and mom have been trying to teach me the proper term for some time now. Hoodies. Not hooded sweaters. Anyway….) We were very under dressed because there was a girl there in, I kid you not, her Wedding Gown.

Apparently, The Bride had just come from, surprise!, her wedding. The groom was there too, along with some of the attendants. (Note: This was NOT a reception. It was, in fact, a mere house party) Want to know where they got married just hours before? A bar. Yes. So I guess going from the reception to a house party wasn’t too weird for them. It was weird for me though. I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the image of a done-up, brand new bride chugging a can of Bud Light in a koozy while we danced to favorites like “Ain’t Nothing But Mammals” (You know the song… “So let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel”) in someone’s crappy living room plastered with posters of varieties of Shots and sex positions.

Vagina Girl and I sat in folding chairs at the beer pong table in the kitchen, made that face, you know, the one that says “What the F#(K are we doing here?” and said our goodbys to the guests, including the now-quite-drunk-on-cheap-beer happy couple. We thought about watching a movie after we left, but as it was close to midnight, it was far past both of our bedtimes.

26 years old is less than 8 weeks away, no more house parties for me. I think I’ll stick to my knitting and Game Show Network from now on. Let’s admit though, that it makes for much better fodder than my latest Angry Birds high score.

Date 1: Vagina Girl

Yes, Vagina Girl. I’ll explain shortly.

Vagina Girl and I decided to meet up and watch Red Riding Hood, a movie we both wanted to see. The day of our “date” I checked, and wouldn’t you know it, out theater had stopped running the movie. I texted Vagina Girl to see if she wanted to see something else, maybe get supper instead, go out for drinks… She never replied, which hurt my feelings, because, frankly, everything hurts my feelings.

About a half hour before we were supposed to meet at the theater and I still hadn’t heard from her, so I decided to salvage my night and go hang out with my bestie and some of her friends. On my way over, Vagina Girl texted me to say sorry, she left her phone at home and we should grab dinner and drinks instead of a movie. I hung out with my bestie for a while, and then Vagina Girl and I met for dinner at the place her boyfriend works. We had a good time, talking about our guys, hobbies, music, movies… We left dinner and went for drinks where the conversation turned to ex-lovers, which is always a fun topic because, c’mon, who doesn’t like to bash their lousy boyfriends, right? (The difference between girl dating and boy dating: Not ok to talk about exes on a boy date, perfectly good conversation on a girl date)

As we all know, too much alcohol leads to TMI, where I learned that Vagina Girl has her, uhm, girly parts, posted on an adult website, and IS OFTEN RECOGNIZED IN PUBLIC. Yes. True story. I wasn’t sure what to say to that, because that was not a something we shared. When she said, “I love Garth Brooks” I was able to enthusiastically say, “Me too!”. When she said, “I’ve had people say, aren’t you Vagina Girl? I thought I recognized your va-jay-jay” I had no response. What was I supposed to say? “Cool”? or “You must have very memorable lady bits”? I stuck with, “Uh wow. That’s awkward.”

I didn’t drink enough alcohol to have a look at Vagina Girl’s bits and pieces, so I can't attest to their memorability, but Vagina Girl is a pretty cool girl, at least the parts of her I've seen....

The Dating Game

I’m an introvert, always have been and prolly always will be. Before LT Fromage came along, I had my own little routine and kept to it, my social life was minimal and I liked it that way. Then, a certain someone stole my heart and my keep-to-myself time stretched to allow a handsome man in. Nowadays, I have my wonderful husband, my close-knit family and a small handful of girlfriends (Even though it took me almost a year from the time we met to start hanging out with my bestie one-on-one!).

Know what’s weird? I thought, being the introvert I am, I thought I’d get along just fine for 12, what some would call lonely, months. Boy, was I wrong. Thank God for my girlfriends, who help keep me busy, and my wonderful mom is always just a phone call away, but it’s just not the same. It’s a strage conundrum, being a lonely introvert. Frankly, I just don’t understand it either, but that’s my story.

As wonderful as my girlfriends are, they do have lives of their own. School. Work. Kids. Hey, they can’t always be there. So what have I done for companionship in the down times? Considered a puppy. Nope. 3 dogs is just too many. Going back to work? Not a chance, I’ve still got a lot of taking-care-of-me to do first. Inviting my childhood imaginary friend, a horse named Acoron, back into the picture? No beuno, he’s much too quiet.

The final decision? "Girl dating". The more the merrier. Friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, nearly random girls with whom I initially have nothing more in common with than a shared taste for margaritas. The pool is big, I just have to jump in there and see who I can find.

It’s been a while since I’ve had to meet people on my own, most of my friends are due to LT Fromage and his married buddies. Oh, how I miss the days of grade school, when you were instantly friends with everyone your age, and there were so many of them. You had everything in common and it was all so… easy. Now I’m having to put myself out there. What if she doesn’t like me because I’m too shy? What if I don’t like her because she’s too pushy? What if we do like each other, can I call her? Will I look clingy? What if she doesn’t call me? Oh, my, how do all of you naturally social people do it!?

So, for lack of anything else to post about (because do you really want to hear that I swept up 2 dust pans of dog fur today? Ew. I didn’t think so), I’ll keep you posted on my “dating” life. Stay tuned!

Reentering the Blogosphere

Wow. It’s been a while *embarrassed smile*. Yes, I’m still here and doing fine. In fact, so fine I hardly have time to blog! Who would have thought that with LT Fromage away and quitting my job I’d stay so busy? But somehow, I’m busier now than I was when I worked full time and had a husband at home. Hm.

What’s going on in the Fromage household? Well…

We successfully rehomed all of the extra rodents! Well, to be more exact, one died (so sad, she was my favorite) and we ended up keeping 3 that I got too attached to. At any rate, we’re down to 4 mice and 10 rats, which is our maximum capacity (or maybe even a little over the limit…!). All of the other pets are doing well, and more importantly, not procreating.

Lots of girls nights, lunch dates and outings with my Non-Sucky Army Wife Friends. (One of whom just found out her 6-month-old daughter may have leukemia, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers). My mom will be relieved of her duties of phone-friend in about 10 months, but until then she’s always around when I need to hear another person on the other end of the line. (Thanks, Mom!)

I’ve basically stopped cooking. What’s the point in buying groceries, preparing, making, and cleaning up after a meal for one when my favorite Thai restaurant is on speed dial? *A little embarrassed to admit they now know me by name when I call in…* I do miss my kitchen time and I’m looking forward to LT Fromage’s return when we go back to eating home cooked meals every day (among other reasons!).

Lucky me, I’ve been able to talk to LT Fromage via facebook, Skype or the good old telephone nearly every day. Sometimes, for so long we sort of run out of things to talk about! Which is much better than what we anticipated as far as communication goes. (For those wondering, he’s doing well, er, as well as can be expected fighting for our freedom. Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers) We’re about a sixth of the way through and going strong!

Thanks for the thoughts and concerns, and especially for continuing to check in even when I'm not posting! Y'all are the best *big internet hug to all my readers*