Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Thanks For Giving Us SH*T!

No, really, thanks for the SH*T!

Hubby and I don’t have lawn-of-the-year. A decent amount of the green stuff is crab grass, and more often than not, it’s a little over due for a mowing. We keep it up, it’s not horribly embarrassing, but it’s not pristine. It’s not that we don’t care, it’s just that we don’t know what to do, and even if we did, we simply don’t have time to maintain it to the standards of our neighbor, “the Yard-Nazi”. Is it a requirement that every block have THAT guy? You know who I’m talking about, Mr. Loves-His-Lawn-More-Than-His-Kids?

Spring is coming around, and with a high of 69 yesterday, and 80s in the forecast this week hubby and I got started on the yard. Last week we raked up all the leaves and other things that show up when the snow melts. Not to be outdone, the next day, The Yard-Nazi also raked his lawn. Sunday hubby mowed. As soon as the Yard-Nazi heard mower engine rev up, he abandoned his family barbeque to trim his grass, too. I don’t know why he’s so competitive with US. As I said, we’re not even in the running for any ribbons here.

Yesterday was the big day, weeding the flower bed and planting some new color, tilling up all the dead grass and putting down seed, you know, the fun stuff! We already had the seed and the seed spreader; we just needed to go to the store for a few colorful plants for the flowerbed, and for the lawn, some kind of fertilizer, top soil… You know, manure.

Hubby and I both pulled into the driveway at 6; there was a foul smell in the air. Our across-the-street neighbors were out getting their mail and called over “Hey! We just fertilized our lawn; we’ve still got a truck load of this stuff if you need any, feel free to help yourselves!” What luck, a whole truck-bed full of horse poop! It even got better! They told us WE had first dibs, and when we were done, the Yard-Nazi was going to use whatever was left!

We stayed out past dark, drinking a few beers and digging, spreading, watering, planting and taking total advantage of all the free fertilizer! All the while, the Yard-Nazi stealing glances, waiting his turn at the good-stuff in the back of the truck so he could top us again!

Plants for the flowerbed: $11.00
Grass Seed: $24.00
The pride that comes from digging in horse SHI*T while the Yard-Nazi looks on with envy: Priceless

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