Deployment Sucks

We’re finally more than 2 months in. Is that it? It feels like a lot longer. I’ve decided there must be a slump somewhere around 9 weeks, because I’ve sure hit one. It seems like reality has finally set it (“Wow… It’s Easter and I’m alone” or “Yikes, he spent the day sorting photos of casualties.”) Oddly, I’ve spend more time in tears the last week or so than I did when he left.

But, what do you do? There are two options: Get through it, or die. And I’m still kickin’, albeit just barely some days.

For those of you following: We’re (surprise!) still waiting to hear about LT Fromage’s transfer.

Lessons I’ve Learned About The Army: Don’t ever count on anything. Ever. Not even “official release dates” for information.

On a lighter note, I took and passed my concealed carry class. The instructor, who’s had more than 200 students, told me after my live fire portion, “Well, I won’t say you’re the very best I’ve ever seen… but I’d put you in the top 25.” NBD.

Intruders beware: The husband may be away, but it’s the wife you really need to be worried about.

Lite-Brite, Lite-Brite, Turn on the magical shining light!

Last week LT Fromage and I took a beginners pistol class. LT Fromage was kind enough to tell me when we arranged it “I’m sure there are things I can learn,” but of course there weren’t. I think he may have actually outshot the instructor, but I had a good time and discovered that I am actually a better one handed shooter than I am when I use both hands. Who knew? Anyway, I got to wear my pink earmuffs, shoot some paper plates and see some cows in the adjacent field and all in all we had a fun day out.

But what does this have to do with a lite-brite? (I know you’re thinking “Where the eff is she going with this story?”)

We had a mega long lunch break, and after we hit up our favorite burger place we still had an hour before class resumed. During that time LT Fromage got a hair cut while I bought yet another pair of sunglasses (our German shepherd keeps eating them) and a cow pen that moos when you push on his head.

So far, there were already multiple high points of this day:

1. Sharing a mid-week day off with LT Fromage. Extra fun because we were shooting

2. The NRA teacher was named Myron Calhoun, which is pretty much a FREAKIN’ AWESOME NAME, right? And he was totally this cute little old man with a big old stocking cap! He even wore a huge name tag, even though we were the only 2 people in his class. Too cute! I have a thing for little old men. We’ll talk about that another time.

3. Lunch at So Long, which included fried pickles and a green chili “burger” with onion rings

4. The above mentioned cow pen. Which totally makes me look like a 6 year old but who gives a D@MN (Using bad words helps me not feel like a kid. Kids can't sware.) Also I got a pink cow eraser. Score!

On our way back to class after the eternal lunch break, we stopped at this funky second hand shop. There it was: The lite-brite. (I told you it was coming)

Pretty much the coolest toy ever. Except maybe Little People. I have a deep rooted love for those, too.

I went a little crazy when I saw it. Ok, more than a little. I may have caused a bit of a scene. But, c’mon, it’s a lite-brite! Who doesn’t remember this from their childhood? I’ll tell you who. LT Fromage.

Boy, he missed out!

I probably should have bought it (It was only ten bucks!) so he could try it out; that is, if I could share it long enough for him to have a turn.

So if you’re in the mood for some lite-brite fun now, because I sure am, I found a website where you can play lite-brite for free. It's not quite the same, but at least it means I won’t be digging those little pegs out of sofa cushions.

If you’ve got an urge for Little People now, well, you’re on your own.

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

Just when you thought I couldn’t get any more redneck, I brought home 2 more rats Nina (isn’t she cute sitting on LT Fromage’s hand?) and Ruger. Yes, the latter is defiantly named after my gun. H3LL yeah. Our rodent population is now at 5.

Ruger is so tiny (can you tell?) she’s not actually weaned yet, so I’m feeding her bits of soft bread soaked in condensed milk every few hours. She’s even coming to work with me (take your rodent-daughter-to-work day?) so I can keep her fed and hydrated. Of course, she hangs out in a travel cage nestled into one of those reusable grocery bags, because I’m not sure my coworkers would be stoked to see a rat chillin’ on the reception desk….

While I’m probably in the running for Rat Mom of the Year, my employer isn’t so happy with me because I’ve had quite a few doctors’ appointments recently (You thought it was due to the rat, didn’t you?).

Now, I’m not sure if this is fair, but I’m told my job “will no longer be protected” if I keep seeing the doctor. Uhm, this kind of irks me because I’ve still got a positive balance of paid hours and I’m legitimately at the doctor for something that needs to be addressed like, now. Nothing like getting punished for taking care of one’s self, right? Eff. I’ll be visiting HR later, armed with a note from one of my doctors. Hopefully I don’t walk out with a pink slip.

So, please forgive my lack of posts on my blog and comments on yours. I’m busy trying to keep my job, juggle my multitude of visits to the hospital and keep the tummy of a little rat full. All while LT Fromage is gone again, of course.

It’s 11:30 on a Monday morning; is it too early for a bottle, er, I mean glass, of wine?

100 Things

I’m speechless (Not really. I’m never speechless), this is my 100th post. In honor of this mile stone, here are 100 things. Not really related things, funny or impressive things, but 100 things none the less.

My list of 100 things.

1. My highest score in solitaire is 735. Which is the highest possible score. NBD
2. I can reach 97 WPM with 97% accuracy
3. I can hold my breath for 1:14
4. Jolly Ranchers always give me hiccups
5. I love grilled cheese sandwiches with sliced jalapeños
6. Or onion and tomato
7. Or dipped in ranch dressing
8. Pretty much anything can be dipped in ranch dressing for that matter
9. I was home schooled until my senior year of high school
10. When I was a little girl, I had an imaginary friend, a horse named Acorn
11. I broke my left ring finger in high school and set it myself, it still bothers me when it’s cold out
12. I love Splenda
13. I add red pepper to hot chocolate, it’s so yummy
14. I’m terrified of earth worms
15. When I was little, I killed a butterfly in a jar using a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol, even though my mom pleaded with me not to
16. I’ve had a stereo stolen from my car and my house broken into twice
17. I worked in an animal shelter where I had to euthanize peoples unwanted pets, I quit working there when I realized I had stopped feeling sad about them dying
18. Ringo is my favorite Beatle
19. I carry 3 types of anxiety medications at all times
20. I starred in the spring musical my senior year in high school (Once Upon A Mattress)
21. I was awarded “Most Improved Dancer” by the cast
22. My favorite color is green
23. I have prosopagnosa (face blindness)
24. I burp when I yawn
25. I read really, really fast
26. I’m not sure if I believe in ghosts, but I am sure that if they’re real, there are some in my house
27. My favorite number is 27
28. I always tip at least 20%
29. I have giant feet, some of my shoes are size 10 ½ wide
30. I had to buy men’s hiking boots because they don’t make women’s that fit me
31. I can’t hike anymore because of patella femoral syndrome in my right knee
32. I love cemeteries, I find them peaceful not creepy
33. However, I do have an abnormal fascination with death
34. I love the old Window’s Entertainment Pack with Chip’s Challenge, Rodent’s Revenge and Tetris
35. I hate the number 35
36. I bruise very easily. I’m afraid most people think LT Fromage must beat me at home
37. When I was little, I had a crush on the Nickelodeon cartoon character Doug
38. My favorite Starbucks drink is the pumpkin spice frappuccino, but when it’s out of season I order a caramel frappuccino with a half cream base
39. I have a paw print tattoo behind my right ear, in memory of all of my pets I’ve lost and the ones I’ve had to put down because there was no room left for another unwanted animal
40. I can fall asleep anywhere, any time. My parents used to think I had narcolepsy
41. I’m the oldest of 4 children, 2 of whom my parents adopted. I love my family so much
42. LT Fromage and I laugh all the time. I’ve never seen a couple who laughs so much and can be so silly, except maybe on TV
43. Last New Year’s Eve I caught our kitchen on fire making breakfast. The fire department had to come put it out
44. We now own a fire extinguisher
45. I love tanks and have a small collection of 1/144 scale miniatures
46. My favorite tank is the Stingray, but it was never mass produced
47. I’ve only been on public transportation once in my life and I was terrified
48. The Office is my favorite TV show
49. I’m also recently lovin’ Arrested Development
50. LT Fromage and I went to Sicily, Italy for our honeymoon, which was amazing except…
51. Our luggage was lost in Rome, so we didn’t have our things for the first day
52. Also, the water was out 50% of the time, so we only showered every other day
53. And we ended up sleeping on separate couches because the bed was so uncomfortable
54. I’m terrified of stopped school busses
55. I dated a guy who went to Annapolis, later married a man who graduated from West Point but was never involved with anyone from the Air Force Academy, despite living only an hour away, while the other schools are on the east coast
56. If while walking, an object is between me and my companion, I have to repeat the phrase “bread and butter” until we are no longer separated
57. I get nosebleeds when I’m nervous
58. I got two nosebleeds on our wedding day (one about 5 minutes before walking down the aisle. In my white dress. The second at the reception immediately before pictures)
59. I had nosebleeds all the time when we started getting frisky, which is a pretty good mood killer
60. I love diet Pepsi, but usually buy Sam’s Club brand diet soda. I won’t touch diet Coke with a 10 foot pole
61. Generations ago, my family owned the Coca Cola company
62. I once stole an Obama sign from a deli window and am guilty of removing an Obama bumper sticker in a parking lot on at least one occasion
63. I didn’t grow out of stuffed animals like my mom predicted I would. I still sleep with “Sir Loin”, a cow LT Fromage gave me for our first Christmas (He had no idea when he bought that cow that he’d be sleeping with it 3 years later)
64. I once ripped the seat of my pants dancing with my friend at a gay club
65. I also ripped the seat of my pants at a county fair while showing my dog
66. My current favorite pair of jeans are wearing thin in the bottom, so to prevent another rip I’ve duct taped them on the inside
67. I live by the phrase “If you can’t duck it, chuck it” (except sometimes I use another work that rhymes with duck)
68. The song “The Reason” by Hoopastank makes my ears hurt, much the same as nails on a chalk board does. Only worse
69. So does the sound of the new Sun Chips bag
70. I don’t believe in the territories
71. I also don’t believe in umami
72. I once cut off my own skin tag with nail clippers
73. I can’t swim
74. I had no idea it would be so hard to think of 100 things. Eff, what was I thinking?
75. My favorite color is green
76. I was raised Protestant, but converted a few years ago to Roman Catholic
77. I got to stay in a Monastery when I was in New York for LT Fromage’s graduation
78. At the present time LT Fromage and I own 2 dogs, 2 cats, 4 rats and a frog
79. Our older cat can sit, speak and roll over, the younger can speak and sit up to beg
80. I own and can shoot, disassemble, clean and reassemble my own gun (Ruger SR9c)
81. T-Rex is my favorite dinosaur
82. If it was socially acceptable, I would totally hole up in the house and never come out. Except to pick up an order of green curry (to go, of course) once in a while
83. I have to sleep with one leg out of the covers
84. I love stadium nachos and M&Ms. Yes, together
85. Blue M&Ms are my favorite, even though I think the Red M&M on the commercials is the best
86. My current favorite commercial is the Geico “Bird in the Hand” one
87. Or maybe the Skittles Tube Sock
88. Or the shake weight, because that is too crazy funny, and not on purpose
89. My birthday sometimes falls on national donut day, which is great, because I love donuts
90. I also love cheese, anything to do with cheese, and also green curry
91. I’ve read my favorite book, Life of Pi at least a dozen times
92. I basically live in my “Nothing Tips Like A Cow” hooded sweater
93. I’ve got a space heater with a remote, it’s set up so that I can turn it on to heat the bathroom before I even get out of bed in the morning
94. I’m a die-hard Colorado Rockies fan
95. I love cooking
96. But I can’t bake and always end up frustrated when I try
97. I live for Christmas and, before I was married, would bring out my (artificial) tree on November 1st
98. Now we wait until the first day of Advent and buy a real tree
99. I love antique stores
100. I hate funnel cake

Those Rednecks with the Rats...

On Sunday I got to shoot my Ruger for the first time, I loved it! Afterwards, LT Fromage and I finally patronized Starbucks for toffee and pumpkin lattes (our first this year!) before embarking on the Ghost Tour on Fort Riley. Other highlights include Mexican food and margaritas, a doggie play date at the park and a yummy Sunday brunch. I hope everyone had a great weekend as well!

Our rat population doubled this week. Until recently, we had 2 little girls, Holly and Lili Marlene. There was a period of time where we couldn’t bring home a healthy rat, we lost 3 this year, so when Holly was feeling under the weather last week, we were prepping ourselves for introducing yet another new rat. Thankfully, she got better quickly but it got me to thinking that perhaps rather than keep 2 rats, we should have 3, so that in the sad event we have another death, no one would be left all alone (Rats like to stay in colonies, they get mighty lonely without a buddy!). After getting to OK from LT Fromage, I picked up a darling little girl on my way home from work last week and we named her Jenny Wren. Not 48 hours later my boss was attempting to rid herself of her little girl (who happens to be Jenny Wren’s sister). To avoid her fate of dropped off at a pet store for snake food or let out side to brave the elements, LT Fromage and I met my boss in the Burger King parking lot and we took, who we are now calling Keltie, home with us. All 4 ladies are happy, healthy and getting along wonderfully.

Yup. We’re that crazy red neck, gun shooting couple with all the rats. You just wish you were this cool... ;-)

On a slightly less happy note, LT Fromage is no longer commanding his troop. A Captain finally arrived and took his (rightful) place; unfortunately, it meant LT Fromage was booted out and into a desk job. The Change of Command ceremony was yesterday so things were a little somber around here. Every day that passes also leaves us a little less confident that the opportunity for a big change will come through. Please keep fingers crossed, however, since we haven’t given up hope yet!

I feel like I should apologize for the lack of posts lately (But then I think, “Hey, this is my blog, I can do whatever I want, I don’t have to say sorry!” But I’ll say it anyway…). Things, as always, are pretty busy at work and home, not to mention I’ve been spending a ridiculous amount of time at the doctor lately. Not to mention all the time it takes now to care for all those rodents…

That Time I Was Hit By A Linebacker...

At the risk of sounding like a true redneck, I am excited to announce that I bought my first gun last night!

A 9mm Ruger SR9c was the one I picked out, based on my wish list of features (thumb safe, no hammer and an indicator for the chamber to let me know if it’s loaded). I wish I could have the 2 tone, but the black was what I brought home (I was too excited to wait for the other color)

While I’m pretty stoked to have my very own gun now, the first time I went shooting left me with a bruise instead of a smile.

LT Fromage and I had only been dating about a month when he invited me to go to the shooting range with him, his dad and little brother. Down for trying, and wanting to impress my new beau, I went along. Despite it being an outdoor range on a December day in Colorado, I wouldn’t wear a coat*. I later wished I had the padding of some kind of outerwear, because it was cold and we were shooting a rifle.

*I have a problem with coats. I find them terribly uncomfortable, since most of them pinch my inner elbow. I’d rather just be cold. LT Fromage finally found me a coat that doesn’t pinch. We got it when we went for our outdoor engagement pictures. In February. In Kentucky. Now I have a coat.

I learned something important that day: when shooting a rifle, hold the butt as close to your body as you possibly can. It WILL kick back and it WILL hurt.

LT Fromage showed me how to hold and shoot the gun and I followed his instructions word for word the first time I pulled the trigger. I decided my new boyfriend was a fool. Why the H3LL would anyone hold this massive gun so close to their chest when it hurt after shooting? Now, I wouldn’t say anything, because I didn’t want him to feel silly, but the next time I would hold it just a few inches from my, now sore, shoulder area before taking aim.

Anyone who’s shot a rifle should be cringing right now. If you haven’t shot a rifle before, what happened next felt like, what I imagine, being hit by a line backer would feel like. Just a guess.

I didn’t tell LT Fromage. I gritted my teeth and CONTINUED TO SHOOT THE GUN for a few more rounds. For which, I did, as advised, hold the gun as close to my body as I possibly could. Which hurt, because in addition to the kick back, a big purple bruise was forming on my collar bone. And I was cold.

LT Fromage didn’t know about my straying from his direction for some time. It was December, I was wrapped up in sweaters, and we’d only been dating a month so he had no business taking those sweaters off. I finally admitted it, some time later, when he invited me to the range again. We had a good laugh, but took a pistol instead.

No Curry in the Camel Bag

Without sharing too much information yet, LT Fromage and I may be in for some more big changes (yes...again). We’ll know something in the next few weeks, so in the mean time, keep your fingers crossed for us, we’re hoping some things work out!

LT Fromage is taking me to look at guns tonight after work. He’s gone already to scope it out and help me with some options. There’s one pink one that made the list, but after some discussion, I came to decide that the thumb safety (which the pink gun was lacking) was more important. LT Fromage didn’t like my idea of using pink nail polish to girly it up… He also said I couldn’t use his extra Camel Bag water thing to fill with green curry so I could drink it whenever I wanted… Come to think of it, he said that trading the truck for a tank wasn’t practical either. Hm. Either he’s a party pooper or he keeps my feet on the ground. Probably the latter :)