Ready, Set, GO!

It's finally time for LT Fromage to deploy. Before the month is out, he'll be gone for a long year. Forgive my lack of specifics, but as always, safety first (Check out Sara's blog for more into on OPSEC).

It's hard to belive it's finally here, but we've known all along it was coming; I like to trust that we're well prepared, but ready or not, here we go!

Wish us luck and please keep LT Fromage (Who will be Captain Fromage before I see him again!) in your thoughts or prayers. Whether you support this war or not, do remember that the men and women fighting for our freedom are husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, siblings and children to someone out there. This one is mine :)

Public Service Announcement

Another Poop Post

You know those once-in-a-lifetime dogs? The ones you never forget, and you're only lucky enough to have once? Satchel was that dog; sadly we had to put him to sleep just over a year ago. We still talk about him often in the Fromage household, usually in the context of picking on our current dogs, Erika and Buford, requesting that they be more like their predecessor. (For instance, Saturday morning, when I went downstairs to find trash strewn about, “Why can’t you guys just be more like Satchel? He didn’t pull this kind of $H!T!”)


It’s hard to narrow down the best thing about Satchel. Was it his wrinkly face that one could smoosh into utter cuteness? His ability to be so loving and gentle with everyone, puppies, babies and strangers, but ready to tear someone’s face off if they messed with his mamma ? Was it because he could be trusted with the run of the house and not get into trouble? The ever so gentle way he took food from your hand, using his lips so not to accidently nibble a finger? Was it his seeming ability to understand exactly what you were saying to him?

Those things were all wonderful, but the thing we miss most about Satchel? His pooping.


Yes, his pooping.

Satchel loved to poop and we loved how excited he was after he pooped. We think this stemmed from his younger days when we were housetraining. Since I was in an apartment at that time and had no yard, I was right there with Satchel, on the other end of the leash every single time he successfully pooped outside and boy would we celebrate when he did! Treats! Jumping! Exclaiming “Hooray! Satchel! Hooray! Good job, boy!”! I’m sure all of the other residents in the complex thought I was nuts, but it worked. He was housetrained in record time and the sense of pride and accomplishment he felt after pooping stayed with him for years to come. Even as an adult dog, then limited to the use of only 3 legs, he would finish his business and take off into a full sprint! Wagging, running and celebrating! (Although, Erika was trained the same way, but does not derive the same joy from this activity...)

We could watch him in the back yard, running until he met the fence, and on walks LT Fromage would take the leash and as Satchel finished, the boys would together run for blocks as I cleaned up what had warranted such excitement.

Satchel’s favorite place to poop was Home Depot.


About a year after Satchel came along, I bought a house. Home owners spend a lot of time at Home Depot, which happens to be dog friendly (perhaps no longer, after Satchel left his mark…).

Satchel often joined me running errands on weekends.


I always made him potty before we left the house. Really, I tried to prevent it.


As soon as we entered the store, Satchel scouted for the perfect place to poop; a long, empty aisle. The moment I became distracted he would hunch over…

Then he would run! A big, brown, wrinkly, 3-legged dog flailing about on the end of his leash (Or sometimes, if he was lucky, slipping out of his collar to dash up and down the aisles) as I bagged the pile he was so proud of.

Every. Single. Time.

They must have come to know us at that Home Depot. “Here comes that girl and her crazy dog… Get the hose out, boys…”

We miss you, Satch. See you on the other side. I hope they have Home Depot in heaven.

Little Old Men

I can’t wait to get old. It’s going to be great sitting in our rocking chairs talking about the good old days, watching our grandkids play… Sure, that’s gonna be fun and all, but the real reason I’m so excited? I can’t wait for LT Fromage to get old.

I love little old men. Every time I see one, with socks pulled up high, shorts and a fanny pack and long hairs growing out of his ears, I just want to grab them and hug! I think they’re darling, those little old guys. I can’t wait to have one of my very own!

And LT Fromage thought he had to watch out for me swooning over movie stars and singers… not unless we’re talking Clooney and McCartney!

Was That So Hard?

I had to go to the ER last weekend and when they sent me home, they instructed me to make a follow up appointment with my primary care provider.

I’m not sure which is suckier, the emergency room or my primary care provider. Probably the latter.

First no one would pick up the phone, then when I tried the other, “secret number “, I was put on hold for 15 minutes before I hung up. On my third try, my call was picked up but the gal was too busy talking to the employee next to her to actually answer my call (but now I know all about how her date went…).

When I finally got through, this is how the conversation went:

“How can I help you?”

(Wanted to say “duh….This is the “Make An Appointment” line, right?” but what I actually said was…)
“I need to make an appointment with Dr. So-and-So for tomorrow please.”

“Okay… we can get you in on Thursday at 10.”

(Ooook. Tomorrow isn’t Thursday. Let’s try again…)
“Ok, well, can I see someone else then? I need to get in tomorrow.”

“We aren’t making appointments for tomorrow. If you want to come in tomorrow, you’ll need to call tomorrow.”

WTF?

(Someone needs to explain the purpose of making an appointment)
“Ok. I don’t understand. Do you have any appointments with anyone tomorrow? Anyone?”

“We aren’t making appointments today for tomorrow. We’re only scheduling acute appointments* for tomorrow today.”

*(“Acute appointment” – code word. Even if they’re booked solid for weeks, just say this phrase and you’ll get in faster than you can drive there!)

“Ok. Can I have an acute appointment please? For tomorrow? I don’t even care who with.”
(I almost offered my first born child, but stopped myself because I may need that bargaining tool later)

“Ok, let’s see… I can get you in with Dr. So-and-So at 1, will that work?”

“YES! YES!”

My original choice of doctor? On the day I wanted? Even the time I preferred? Can it be true? What’s the catch…

“Ok, well we have you down for 1pm with Dr. So-and-So, we’ll see you then. Just be sure to watch your phone in case we have to cancel or reschedule you since it might snow tomorrow and we may delay everything, or he may not even come in… Thanks have a great day. Click.”

FML. Everyone still want government run healthcare?